Saturday, July 31, 2010

Download This! Future Tense w/ CD Cover!

You know the drill. Download this before it gets taken down.

Quick Quips

- I interviewed Plumtree for my 'zine in 1995. Scott Pilgrim, the movie, comes out in 2 weeks, with the previews showing Michael Cera wearing a Plumtree shirt. When I covered them in 1995, Cera was 7, probably in 2nd grade. I'm sure the movie will be a hit, though.

- Nick And Norah's Infinite Playlist, is one of my favourite movies of all time. I think I went into sugar-shock from it being so sweet.

- Headlights are a Polyvinyl-type band that I ignored for years. Just unearthed a track for your benefit.

- Phil Oakley's track, "Together In Electric Dreams," was part of the soundtrack to the 80's machine-comes-to-life-turns-bad movie Electric Dreams. If anybody has this movie on DVD, I BEG you to share. As well as last month's request for RAD, an awesome 80's BMX movie. Somebody come forward with these items. I'm trying to bolster my 80's movie collection.

- I've included some tracks for some living room dance-offs as well. The Jamiroquai track, followed by Felix Cartal's edit of Valerna, "Look Ma! No Pants!" These songs just get my heart pumping, readying me for a sauna-style sweat.

- Apparently, "Finn Bikkjen!," from Polyvinyl's Casio Kids, is Norwegian for, "Find Dogs!"

- The title is from the Lali Puna song. The cover is a picture of "Riot, Sector 9," as part of Laser Prison Art Installation, by Maximum Security. "If you can't do the laser time, don't do the laser crime." No shit.

- Enjoy. And click on the button to the right to BUY ME A COFFEE!

Future Tense

01 Plumtree – Scott Pilgrim
02 Big Boi ft. Cutty – Shutterbug
03 Dragonette – Take It Like A Man
04 Goldfrapp – Rocket (Grum remix)
05 Athlete – Hurricane
06 Hellogoodbye –When We First Met
07 Headlights – Cherry Tulips
08 Medicine – Slut
09 Annie – Don’t Stop
10 Rocket From the Crypt – Middle
11 Minutemen - #1 Hit Song
12 Tokyo Police Club – Juno
13 Phil Oakley w/ Giorgio Moroder – Together In Electric Dreams
14 Crystal Castles – Crimewave (Midnight Conspiracy remix)
15 Hot Chip – Over And Over
16 Jamiroquai – Canned Heat (Calvin Harris remix)
17 Valerna – Look Ma! No Pants! (Felix Cartal edit)
18 Tracey Thorn – Why Does the Wind? (Morgan Geist remix)
19 Casio Kids – Finn Bikkjen (lightsoverla remix)
20 Lali Puna – Future Tense

The CD cover is included with this. Just click on the zshare link, and enjoy.

Monday, July 26, 2010

This Week's Shitty Blue Jay: Brad Fullmer!

The DH experiment ended in 2000. Those useless fuckers, Dave Hollins, Geronimo Berroa, and Willie Greene were shuttled out of a job forever.

In came this chaw-chewing, steroid pumping, big-eared alpha with a chip on his shoulder, and gave all of them a good punt out the door.

Acquired as a free agent, much maligned by Montreal Expos manager Felipe Alou, Fullmer came into the batter's box every time with something to prove. His 2000 season was his best, as if it were a big, 'go fuck yourself,' to his former manager. He was such a meathead, that he had, 'CAN'T BREAK ME,' tatooed on his shoulder with Alou in mind.

And goddamn, were we ever tired of light-hitting, slow-swinging DH's by then. Fullmer was a welcome change, endearing him to many pissed-off diehards (like myself).

He was clutch, always coming through in a scoring situation, batting in 104. He batted .295, and was a hard out. He hit for power, slugged a career-high 32 HR in 2000.

He had one weakness, though. It was a weakness for doubles, hitting 29 in his first year as a Jay, and 31 in 2001.


Won a World Series with the Anaheim Angels, where he spent time on the DL with a bad knee.

Bad part was, nobody gave a shit.


Currently selling cars in California, likely with a plug-full of chaw in his mouth.


(Click on the top right and BUY ME A FUCKING COFFEE, MOTHERFUCKERS! And vote for your favourite Shitty Jay!)

Next Week: Otis Nixon

Monday, July 19, 2010

This Week's Shitty Blue Jay: Dave Hollins

Who says The Blue Jays aren't a charitable organization? Just the opposite! Check out who they gave a DH job to in 1999!

Fucking Dave Hollins!

Hollins was part of that rugged 1993 Philadelphia Phillies team that we demolished in the World Series. Yeah, THAT one. Anyway, he was an All-Star Third Baseman then.

By the time we got him in 1999, he wasn't even a shadow of his former self, he seemed more like a vapor trail!

That's how charitable the Jays are!

He batted .222 with 2 HR at the DH position in 1999, frustrating us all. He was part of the triumvirate of experimental DH's, with Geronimo Berroa and Willie Greene. All useless. All, with the cliche, "couldn't hit water if they fell off a fucking boat!" The DH experiment would later be abandoned when Brad Fullmer took the job full-time, rendering everybody else expendable.

You can tell how bad Hollins was at every at bat. He swung from both sides of the plate, but he was no good at either side. His swing was always late, falling victim to the third strike fastball. I'd know, because I'm the one coming out pissed every time he swung and missed.

But throughout all of this, you have to admire the act of charity the Jays bestowed upon him. Although I don't think his annual salary of $1.9 million is charity, I feel that Hollins was burrowing every penny, knowing that it might be the end of his career. I think he even saved his per diem on the road, saving on meals by eating everybody's leftovers.

Dave played for a few years afterward, returning to Philadelphia in 2002, making the team roster. I found this on Wiki:

"However, he only had 17 at bats for the team and two hits before he was placed on the disabled list due to harmful spider bites that aggravated his diabetes."

How the hell do you put explain that on the DL? "60-Day DL. (Spider Bites)"


Now a hitting coach of the Binghampton Mets, an affiliate of the New York club. You'll know who to blame when the Mets' offense gets 'spider-bit.'

Too late.

(Click on the top right and BUY ME A FUCKING COFFEE, MOTHERFUCKERS! And vote for your favourite Shitty Jay!)

Next Week: Brad Fullmer

A Birthday Treat For Skitch!

Actually, this is more of a treat for me. I have a better photo of them on my fridge door!


I guess the name backronym-ed into Salvation Through Redemption, Yielding Peace, Encouragement and Righteousness.

Stryper claimed to be a Christian Heavy Metal act when they first emerged. The funny part was, neither the Metallists nor the Christians didn't know what to make of them, and their yellow-and-black outfits. They further alienated everybody else in 1990, when they released Against The Law, shedding their Christian intentions in their music. The album was pretty lame, so that turned everybody off, as well.

I feel that they peaked during their 1988 album, In God We Trust, which included this awesome tune:

Listen to the guitar harmonies in the solo. Just amazing.

Happy Belated Birthday, Skitch!

Friday, July 16, 2010

Live Music I've Seen

I'm fortunate in my life that I have opportunity to see what I've seen. With that, I'm grateful.

Although my list is not as impressive as others', it is daunting at times. There are others, believe me, but the names of the acts I can't remember. Or I am indifferent to some of the crap that I've seen.

In no particular order:

Skid Row
Faster Pussycat
Pearl Jam
Ice Cube
The Jesus and Mary Chain
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Fed Up
The Earthlings
Furry Ognion
Neophyte’s Serendipity
Circle Theorem
Cartoon Khaki
The Sweaters
Less Than Purfikt
Think Again
Omar Sanchez And the Fundimental Phunktionz
Digital Curtis
Blue Suede Gnus
Tricky Woo
The Weakerthans
Art Bergmann
Nerdy Girl
Jeff Buckley
Gilby Clark
Madder Rose
King Cobb Steelie
Plains Of Fascination
Ten Foot Pole
Face To Face
Shudder To Think
Good Riddance
Strung Out
The Bouncing Souls
The Queers
The Hi-Fives
Ani DiFranco
Tristan Psionic
Thrush Hermit
The Local Rabbits
Al Tuck And No Action
Perfume Tree
Green Day
Pansy Division
Howie Beck
Concrete Blonde
Redd Kross
The Lemonheads
Sarah McLachlan
Lava Hay
Laughing Hyenas
Eric’s Trip
Sonic Youth
Slit Slot
The Sadies
Nashville Pussy
Wax Mannequin
Project 9
Weeping Tile
Punjabi By Nature
Ron Hawkins
The Greyhound Tragedy
Lynn Miles
Cuff The Duke
The Smugglers
Groovie Ghoulies
The Vapids
Golden Lake Diner
Scratching Post
The Sweaters
The Figgs
Red Five
Dance Hall Crashers
Rocket From The Crypt
The Juliana Theory
Jimmy Eat World
The Gloria Record
Death Cab For Cutie
Explosions In the Sky
Black Kids
The Virgins
The Reason
Attack In Black
Liz Phair
Tori Amos
Great Lake Swimmers
Mighty Mighty Bosstones
Foo Fighters
Henry Rollins
Shades Of Culture
Jully Black
Joel Plaskett Emergency
The Dirtmitts
Butterfly Joe
The Planet Smashers
PJ Harvey
Twilight Sad
Beach House
Ra Ra Riot
Jaguar Love
Broken Social Scene
Modest Mouse
Father’s Property
The Killer Elite
Britney Spears
Lady Gaga
Passion Pit
The Heads
Sum 41
A Newfound Glory
Good Charlotte
Blink 182
Transylvania 500
The Cows
Tijuana Bibles
Down By Law
The Constantines
Full White Drag
Rainer Maria
Tokyo Police Club
Bozo Porno Circus
Ember Swift
The Fembots
Teen Crud Combo
The Capones
Night Court
The Descendents
The Bomboras
The Salteens
Spookey Ruben
Ross Tracey
Dennis Hull

There are others that are part of my wish list to see, but there are various reasons (death, break-up, retired, got lame) why it isn't possible.

Notable mention to the singer of that band that I can't remember, that played at The 360 one hot summer night in '96, and got totally naked. It was quite a treat for all of us.

So THAT'S what a small dick looks like . . .

How about you share YOUR list with me, so I can hate on you.

Or start your own killer list of live music that you've seen.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

The July Homestand

This July stay at home proved to be as eventful as it came.

In bullet form:

- cleaned the house.

- watched Canada Day fireworks, hammered.

- started enjoyable taste for Cuban rum.

- bought Mad Men, Season Three, and Winger's s/t at the BGO.

- cut the grass.

- took the kids to the waterpark.

- got guido-dark at the wave pool.

- used the clothesline for the first time this year.

- huddled the family together in one room to enjoy the air-conditioning.

- took Chewy for plenty of walks by the water.

- saw Passion Pit and Metric.

- missed Holy Fuck.

- attended a kegger.

- performed two keg stands.

- went to brunch at The Old Mill, deathly hungover.

- swam at a public pool.

- got jock itch.

- saw Lady Gaga, just in time.

- missed the opener, but who cares?

- visited CURIO in Waterford.

- bought Minutemen, Double Nickles On the Dime, on vinyl.

- ate lots of sushi.

- Bella even tried seaweed salad and crab!

- printed covers.

- bought Junior Boys, So This Is Goodbye, at the BGO.

- relaxed, when we didn't have to be anywhere.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Wedding Website Up!

Alright, alright. It's up.

My girl and I are getting married. Here are all the details.

Go here:

Monday, July 12, 2010

This Week's Shitty Blue Jay: Pete Munro

Ahh, The All-Star Break. The halfway mark into the country hardball season. Last night was the jerk-off session known as the Home Run Derby.

Tomorrow, the BIG circle jerk known as THE game. I'm just wondering who's going to stand in the middle of THAT one . . .

As it stands, our 2010 edition of the Blue Jays are barely conscious, sporting a 44-win, 45-loss record going into the break. Maybe they can use this time to regroup, take off their brains and stick it in the dishwasher for a bit, and THEN hit the ground running for the second half of the season.

Sound familiar? Of course, we're chock full of cliches here.

It sounds like every other year where we were bamboozled into thinking that our team were contenders. We then put our unreasonable hopes on these ordinary men, hanging on their every move. Lauding them with praise one minute, and blistering them with a cacophony of jeer and blame the next.

That's why I started this 'Shitty Jay,' thing. To celebrate the careers of players from bad to marginal to great. The one thing they all have in common: They haven't been part of a World Series team . . . and THAT is what makes them shitty!

(You'll get on me about Delgado, and how he has a World Series ring from the '93 team, but we'll talk about that later. Just remember . . . YOU'RE FUCKING WRONG!)

Sorry for the long-windedness. Here's Pete Munro!

Pete Munro played for the Jays in 1999 to 2000, mostly as a reliefer and spot-starter. He went out to the mound armed with only a fastball and a changeup, and in my opinion, very average ones. In his two year stint, Pete posted a 1-3 record, a whopping 6.00 ERA in only 81 IP. His one and only win was a spot start on pure guts, mixing his piece-of-crap pitches, and hiding the ball well. He earned it.

I remember him and fellow relief crew member Tom Davey getting all fired up to pitch against the hated New York Yankees. I watched both of them, in separate turns on the mound, referring to the said Yankees as, 'motherfuckers.' Anybody who does that, gets a mention in my shitty blog.


Pete Munro got those, 'motherfuckers,' all right.

In June 2003, he was part of a Houston Astros sextet, consisting of Roy Oswalt, Kirk Saarloos, Brad Lidge, Octavio Dotel, and Billy Wagner, that no-hit the New York Yankees. He posted a 3-4 record that year, but shit, he helped NO-HIT the Motherfucking Yankees!


Was last seen in 2008 in the Atlantic League, before getting released after an arm injury.

(Click on the top right and BUY ME A FUCKING COFFEE, MOTHERFUCKERS!)

Next week: Dave Hollins

Sunday, July 4, 2010

This Week's Shitty Blue Jay: Tom Davey

This week is Tom Davey's.

I remember him as part of the relief corps for the Jays in 1999. At 6'7, he was a tall right-handed pitcher who had the mound demeanor of someone that is owed money by the person in the batter's box.

I recall during a series with the New York Yankees, during a close game, Davey was called in, and I could see him mouth the words, "let's get these motherfuckers!" I wasn't an impressionable kid by then, but holy fuck, I dug that attitude in competition. It was a lesson that aggression, well-channeled, brought positive results.

Unfortunately, aggressiveness was only one half of the equation. Ability and timing was the other, and poor Tom didn't have neither. He posted a 1-1 record and a middling 4.70 ERA before getting shipped out to Seattle partway in '99.


Still pitching relief for the Camden Riversharks of the Atlantic League. Not kidding.

(Vote for YOUR favourite shitty Jay! I'm counting all of the votes! Serious!)

Next Week: Pete Munro!

Download This! Make It Hott w/ CD cover!

Download this while you can!

Summer is in full effect, boys and girls! Here is a mix for the sticky month of July.

I tossed a bit of everything here, emptying out some of my archived stuff. Highlights include the Bieber track, Passion Pit covering The Cranberries, the new Chromeo, Lali Puna, and an oldie from the "Rad," soundtrack, featuring Real Life. If anybody has that killer BMX movie on DVD, please send me a copy.

As always, I've scoured the blogs to share some of the new remixes. That Katy Perry/MSTRKRFT pairing is a total Frankenstein, similar to the Justin Beiber/MSTRKRFT marriage from last month. It's totally infectious. Boys Noize just make my ass move, so I've included two remixes.

And what can I say about Crystal Castles. "Baptism," is the track of my summer! Looking forward to checking them out next month! I'm totally beside myself!

Oh, and the title is from the Uffie track remixed by, you guessed it, Crystal Castles.

Make It Hott

01 The Weakerthans - This Is A Fire Door Never Leave Open
02 The Rentals - Friends Of P
03 Justin Bieber - Stuck In the Moment
04 T.W.D.Y. - Player's Holiday
05 Lali Puna - Remember
06 Chromeo - Don't Turn the Lights On
07 Passion Pit - Dreams
08 White Lies - Death
09 Real Life - Send Me An Angel
10 Broken Bells - The Ghost Inside
11 Uffie - Make It Hott (Crystal Castles remix)
12 Calvin Harris - Flashback (Manila Killa remix)
13 Crystal Castles - Baptism
14 Katy Perry ft. Snoop Dogg - California Gurls (MSTRKRFT remix)
15 N.E.R.D. ft. Nelly Furtado - Hot N Fun (Boys Noize remix)
16 Usher - Love In This Club (MSTRKRFT remix)
17 Chemical Brothers - Swoon (Boys Noize remix)
18 Paris Hilton - Stars Are Blind

You can download the zip file here:

Tickle my G-SPOT for some links to some of the blogs I lurk.

(And will someone click above and BUY ME A FUCKING COFFEE?!!! I'm ready to snap!)