Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Disco Drunk Fun!



I had a fucking blast being at the December 18th edition of, 'I Say Disco, You Say Punk!' As always, they blast the kind of music that stir my soul.

The Rapture were guest DJ's before MC Uncle Buck came on. They started slow and lame, but picked up the pace to the point of mayhem. I was losing my mind to what they were playing! If anybody out there has an idea of what they were spinning, gmail me! It was THAT good.

It was a shame that I couldn't stay until the bitter end, like usual. Word of advice to everybody: Don't try to shut down, 'All you can eat sushi,' at August 8th, and then try to stir it up at Disco/Punk. Bad idea.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Found A Job!



Yes! It's true! I'm a working stiff!

Who would have thought that working on this piece of shit blog, and playing with pictures as CD covers for years, would land me a desk, a little window, and free access to a colour printer? I should be paying THEM!

The job is boring and tedious, but it does keeps me from the factory, which is nice. I finally get to an occupation where steel-toed workboots are not a requirement.

I'm finally on the other side, Ma! And I'm allowed to dress like Mad Men!

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Download This! She's Got A Mouthful Of Irony



'Tis the holidays, and the season for giving. If you are on my mailing list, a care package will come to you in a bit. If not, just click below to download, and have a safe and happy Channukah!

she's got a mouthful of irony

01 The Drums - Me And the Moon
02 Robyn - Dancing On My Own
03 Hellogoodbye - Betrayed By Bones
04 Attack In Black - Husbands
05 Neutral Milk Hotel - Two-Headed Boy
06 Coheed And Cambria - Far
07 Fifth Hour Hero - My Sympathies
08 Arcade Fire - Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains)
09 Dragonette - Easy
10 The Sounds - Painted By Numbers
11 Dil Se - Chaiyya Chaiyya
12 Grum - Turn It Up
13 MGMT - Congratulations (Erol Alkan rework)
14 Boys Noize - Trooper (Strip Steve remix)
15 Robyn - Indestructible (A-Trak radio edit)
16 Jacques Greene - (Baby I Don't Know) What You Want
17 Tokyo Police Club - Favourite Colour (PUNCHES remix)
18 Afrojack ft. Eva Simmons - Take Over Control (Barletta remix)

Jai-A-Lites:

- The Drums are my current guilty pleasure. It's simple and hooky. That is all.

- That Robyn single is amazing. Body Talk in three parts is kinda much, though. I included her, "Indestructible," remix to applaud her efforts.

- I used the Ukulele Recordings of "Betrayed By Bones," by Hellogoodbye. It sounds more quaint and intimate.

- The change from the quiet of Hellogoodbye to the loud rasp of Attack In Black is one of my favourites. Attack In Black's Marriage is one of the most underrated punk albums ever released, showcasing their writing depth. I included a link for you to download here:

http://www.zshare.net/download/8369332227f77ba6/


Really, go get it. It's THAT good.

- Dil Se's "Chaiyya Chaiyya," was from the Inside Man soundtrack. Incredible movie. I'm in disbelief that Spike Lee had a hand in that.

- Find the switch. I always throw in a track that doesn't really go with anything, but changes the pace of the mix. It's easy to find. It's always the song that is the calm before the storm. Find it, gmail me, and I will personally put you on my mailing list, where you will be subject to gay porn subscriptions and fartbombs.

- The title is from the Fifth Hour Hero track.



Download link here:

http://www.zshare.net/download/83962195839e1c10/

Monday, December 6, 2010

Top Three Grease-Spots In Sudbury (+ How To Lose Some Excess Poundage)



Now that we're all moved back into the south, my wife then brings with her the cold weather that we tried to run away from. It's too bad she couldn't bring back some of the richest, greasiest food from the Nickel Belt. This snowy cold makes me crave them terribly.

Here are a few of my favourite hangouts, when I feel the need for some junk in my body. All Sudbury originals!

I miss Deluxe. It's a fucking institution in Sudbury! It's so popular, that they had to build two! You can get Deluxe either by the Kingsway or Regent Street.

I crave the heart-stopping Double Deluxe with cheese, served with fries, orange gravy and coleslaw. Highly recommended!

Deluxe Hamburgers
1737 Regent St., Sudbury
(705)522-2470


When authentic Poutine is what your looking for, you gotta go to Leslie's on Regent! This is as real as you can get on the wrong side of Quebec, without putting up with the asshole Qui-beckers (although there is a hearty Franglais population in Sudbury, they are pretty harmless).

When I first entered this place to try, I shit you not, it was stifling hot and I walked out of there, sweating oil!

Make sure you pick up a Montreal-Smoked Meat Sandwich. Go for the cheese curds instead of shredded! And always, ALWAYS, go with spicy gravy!

Leslie's Charcoal Grill And Take Out
661 Notre Dame Ave., Sudbury
(705)669-1075


Nursing a hangover from killing it at Townehouse? Go get something hot, salty, and full of fat at Gloria's. And I'm not talking about the girl the took you home! ZING!

At the end of a strip-mall, sharing space with a convenience store, an ice cream shop, and a Home Hardware, Gloria's has the best atmosphere. Everybody and their mom goes there! Best breakfasts in town. Best coffee in a diner. Best everything. It is Sudbury's true jewel.

When I retire, they'll see my ugly face there every day!

Gloria's
469 Bouchard St., Sudbury
(705)522-1476



A Modest Proposal,
How To Lose Some Excess Poundage:


- Eat Breakfast. As soon as you wake up, no matter what time it is, it's breakfast time! I used to rely on just swilling on a cup of coffee to get me started for my day, but it always had disastrous results. I would be ravenous by noon, eating everything in my path. It made me lethargic and useless to anybody for the rest of the day.

Here's a suggestion. Why not kick start your day with some granola, or some fruit? Eat something really simple for your digestive system to do it's thing. I make myself a spinach omelette, for instance. Say hello to your metabolism going to work!

DON'T go for the country breakfast of sausage, bacon, ham, eggs, and pancakes as a morning wake-up! You might as well just stay in bed.

- Portion Control. Imagine having your normal plate of food. Now, eliminate a quarter of it, and go from there. We are being exposed by all kinds of pressure to eat. To eat crap, and to eat lots of it. Fat fucks like these even turn it into a sport, glamourizing over-indulgence.

But don't worry, they'll be dead soon, and you'll follow right after your turn in The Biggest Loser! I've already entered you in!

You have to rethink food as fuel and not something to emotionally satiate.

Try this next time: Every time you reach for food, ask yourself if you ARE hungry. If you are hungry enough to eat an apple, go reach for that. If not, find other ways to keep busy.

Like jerking off!

- Drink Ice Water. Studies at NASA state that drinking ice water on a regular basis burns a total of 1200-1400 calories a month! And it makes a lot of sense: Altering the temperature of water by even 1 degree, either up or down, requires a lot of energy. If you have doubts, check your bill to heat your hot water tank!

Your own body regulating ice water back into normal ambient temperature is the simplest way to metabolize energy. Up to 45 calories a day, just from ice water. Just ask those nerds at NASA!

- Be 75% vegetarian. Fruits and vegetables contain valuable nutrients and flavonoids that keep your body happy and healthy. It's also fibrous and full of water to keep your sodium intake balanced. While we derive most of our protein from meat, we should still keep it on our plates, as a side dish.

Picture your plate full of food. Picture half of the plate specifically for vegetables, one-quarter for starch, the last quarter for meat.


- Do something! I'm in week 2 of P90X, and it's kicking my ass! Before this, I was doing 100 push-ups, like my friend Matt. Before that, I was doing time at the Sudbury Y pool, strengthening my knees and shoulders. Before that, trained and ran a 30k Marathon. Before that, I was on the Wii Fit. And so on and so forth.

The point is, just find some activity that you would like to do that's a bit challenging, and do it. Resistance training, cardio, walking the dog, masturbating 10 times a day, whatever it is that would get your blood pumping, do as much as you can of it. Set goals. Achieve. Get better.

Our bodies need challenge. In the beginning, our roles as humans were quite clear: We were hunters and gatherers. We worked hard to get our food, as well as not to be food. And in this day and age, and modern society, we just don't have roles that cut and dry anymore. Sure, we are gatherers, but most of what we eat, we drive over to the grocery store to "gather." And it's not that big of a struggle to get. We have lots of it, and is readily accessible! So we do feed our bodies, but without that challenge and struggle that we've been programmed from before.

So you have to program yourself to change an be the hunter like you were before!

Do you want to lose weight or not?

If not, make sure your visit some of the spots that were recommended, you fat fuck!

Saturday, November 27, 2010

We Are Moving!



That's right, folks!

Sorry about the lack of posts as of late. Just finished packing and getting ready for the move.

So, in bullet form . . .

Things We Will Miss About Hamilton:

- Sushi Delivery. Sushi To Go on James Street North provide us with that city-fied convenience of not having to leave your house for anything. Pretty good, too.

- The almost completed and revamped Public Library. If you've seen it, the place looks futuristic.

- My favourite vinyl stores. Both Cheapies and Dr. Disc are my secret retreats if I need to disappear for a few hours. As I've indicated in this blog, both have my weakness: The cheap, 5 for $1 vinyl bins.

- James Street North. I love the idea of walking up and down this street to sounds of Portugal in one part, to Africa in another. Also a healthy population of scene-sters are emerging in this area, steadily taking over with their Art Crawls and Super Crawls every month.

- This Ain't Hollywood. This bar is two blocks away from my house and I just found it. It's hip enough for this socially-inept blogger. It's not the Townehouse, the ElMo, the Wick, or Absinthe, but it'll do. Two blocks!

- "I Say Disco/You Say Punk!" at Club Absinthe. I'm honoured to say that I met my wife there. But before that, I found a basement bar that looked like a fire hazard, was dirty as hell, and louder than a motherfucker. But I couldn't imagine myself being anywhere else! Let's get good Hamilton!


And on another note, this is just our little secret . . . this blog is moving, too. We'll keep you posted!

Friday, November 5, 2010

Download This! People Can Do the Most Amazing Things



People Can Do the Most Amazing Things

01 Medeski, Martin and Wood - Let's Go Everywhere
02 The Ting Tings - Hands
03 Kisses - People Can Do the Most Amazing Things
04 Cartel De Santa - El Cabron
05 Usher ft. Pitbull - DJ Got Us Falling In Love Again
06 Shakira - She Wolf (Villains remix)
07 The Dream - Fast Car
08 Grum - Can't Shake This Feeling
09 Fever 105 and Himan - I Want You
10 CSS - Let's Make Love And Listen To Death From Above
11 Death From Above 1979 - Blood On Our Hands
12 MSTRKRFT - Vuuvuu
13 Crystal Castles - Black Panther
14 The Chemical Brothers - Dissolve (Bloody Beetroots remix)
15 Miike Snow - A Horse Is Not A Home (Shitsmiths remix)
16 The Hours - See the Light (Calvin Harris remix)
17 Boys Noize - 1010
18 The Twelves - When You Talk
19 Chromeo - J'ai Claque La Porte
20 Van She - Sex City (The Teenagers remix)



Quick Quips:

- This mix has been road tested. We were shaking our asses from Sudbury heading for Hamilton!

- The Medeski, Martin And Wood track is fucking amazing. Just discovered it while watching an episode of Eastbound And Down. Downloading this mix just to get that song is well worth it, trust me.

- The Cartel De Santa track is from Eastbound And Down as well. It's from that scene where Kenny Powers and his sidekicks are cruising around Mexico in mopeds looking badass and pimp. 'El Cabron,' means, 'the bastard.' The title is just pure coincidence.

- Let's just have some fun and dance!

- That Ting Tings track is a motherfucker! I can't go through a day without listening to it and breaking into a sweat. Probably single of the year.

- The Van She track is originally a Crystal Castles song. I dug it up, along with my previous MSN chats with a bunch of horny MILFs. Goddamn, those bitches make me blush!

- The title is from the Kisses track.

- It's for Lise, who does amazing things. The person I've been making these mixes for . . . And you guys also, of course!

Download link here:

http://www.zshare.net/download/823916222b45e5ef/

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Ebbet's Fucking Field!



I was just recalling my trip to Brooklyn in 2008 and found Ebbet's Field. Here are some pictures of what I discovered.

Ebbet's Field was torn down in 1962, it used to be situated on a garbage dump called, 'Pigtown.' After the wrecking ball got to it, the land was then converted into tenement-style apartments.

It was hard to find, and was located in the worst part of town. It's a wonder anybody wanted to go there at all. It was on the wrong side of Flatbush, close to a rough-looking supermarket and a couple of chop shops.

The schools around it still adorn pictures of Jackie Robinson, Pee Wee Reese, and Duke Snider. When you got there though, you sense a detachment to all of this. They made it look like a novelty.

I tried to picture the old entrance, visualizing where things would have been over 50 years ago, before my team, the Dodgers, left it in 1957, and demolished in 1962.

Was I standing where the rotundas would have stood? Where would the grandstands have been? Is this where the short right field fence once was? Where was Jackie Robinson patrolling the infield with Pee Wee?

When I went and explored the old remnants of Ebbet's, I was trying to feel the magic that happened long before I was born. There was no evidence of any of that. Of course, it was 50 years since all this happened, but still! It wasn't as special as I envisioned it to be.

OTHER THINGS

Baseball is over for now, but here's a few things that I have in my possession that would keep me warm on those long cold winter nights . . . With the exception of your mom, of course.

- The Tenth Inning - Ken Burns' documentary lives on, so that I don't need to replay all nine innings in my collection. New things on the agenda like the steroids and more steroids. I really enjoy the 'Ichiro,' passage. It would make a perfect Christmas present to your favourite foul-mouthing, heavy-metalling, mom-loving, blogger. (HINT HINT!)

- Baseball books I re-read - My all-time favourite baseball books to revisit:

The Artful Dodger, by Tommy Lasorda
The Wrong Stuff, by Bill Lee
Good Enough To Dream, by Roger Kahn

I use all of Tommy's parable-like stories and apply them in real life. All of my friends hate it when I start a conversation with, 'let me tell you a story about . . .'

Bill Lee's frank and smart-alecky recollection of his days with the Red Sox and the Expos make ME want to drink and do drugs . . . and throw bullshit junk left-handed. It might land me a contract!

In Good Enough To Dream, 'Macho Studley,' has never sounded more noble.

- New baseball books to explore - I gather up all kinds of books about baseball from all kinds of nooks and crevices. If you have some that you think I don't already have, give me a quick tickle on my G-SPOT and let me know, but believe me, I have a ton of books! I never get rid of them! Here is my list of reading material for winter 2010:

Tomorrow I'll Be Perfect, Dave Stieb
The Duke Of Flatbush, Duke Snider
A Dream Season, Gary Carter
Nine Innings, Daniel Okrent

Anyway, stay warm, check in with me once in a while to catch up. And don't fret, pitchers and catchers report for duty in a span of a couple of months!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

More About Nothing!



Quickly . . .



- That's that for me for this year's edition of country hardball. The better team got knocked out before they could even make it to the big dance. It was an inopportune time for the Phillies' bats to get cold.

Word on the grapevine is that Leroy was playing with a hernia. Talk about pitching your guts out! Next year, Doc!

Anyway, the baseball season is over. I couldn't care less about a West Coast Series.

- We are almost finished our time here up north, and I will be back to reality shortly. Before I go, look out for my post on some of Sudbury's greasiest spoons and some common sense tips on how not to be a fat fuck. You can start by not visiting this place:




- "Shitty Blue Jay," is still happening. Just trying to gather up some Carlos Delgado stories. So if you have any dirt on this guy regarding a sextape, farm animals, a foray into gay, snorting cocaine off a hooker's ass (sorry Mr. Gruber), or any other thing that may sound exciting, please email me. Dish the dirt.



- Eastbound And Down, Season Dos is fucking awesome and is in my psyche right now. Kenny Powers is the most awesome anti-hero that I could ever witness. Check him out making his Mexican baseball debut:



Another grapevine rumour: Kenny Powers will be back for a Season Tres!

- Be sure to check out my next mix. It's catchy as hell. No, not really. I just pull stuff together by purging out what I've been hoarding in my hard drive that isn't porn. There's not much of that. My laptop is 95% porn, 2.5% music, and 2.5% of my saved MSN chats from when I was online dating.

- Check out my friend Berlinda's blog. Her last post was about seeing Greg Dulli from The Afghan Whigs. I'm so filled with jealousy that I could send her some Haterade! Over here:

Greetings To the New Brunette

I'll keep you posted on the rest. Maybe.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Kisses!



Totally in love with this right now. Sounds like lounge singing in the key of melancholy.

Download "Bermuda," here:

http://www.zshare.net/audio/81588720ebdb842f/

Check out their new album, The Heart Of the Nightlife, here:

http://www.myspace.com/blowkissess

The '67 Supercub Project!



I saw this video years back, and decided that I wanted a moped.



I couldn't afford the real-deal Vespa scoot-scoots, so I found a much cheaper facsimile. Much cheaper.



Meet the Honda Supercub. Mine was born in 1967. I got it from some kid, who beat the shit out of it thoroughly, for $100.

I enjoy the fact that it was listed as #1 on Discovery Channel's 'Greatest Ever Motorcycles,' putting the Cub through all kinds of torture. They even drove it off a building! Watch it here:



It's been sitting in my basement now for a few years, gathering mould and dust while I gathered up parts, a plan, and a clue. I'm still deliberating in my head, while still trying to complete this project on the cheap.

If any of you dear readers have any connects, or a read on some old parts, contact me. It's much appreciated.

Here is the goal below:

Saturday, October 9, 2010

About Doc . . .



Here we go, better late than never.

Watching Doc Halladay pitch playoff baseball in front of 50,000 people is like watching an ex-girlfriend squirt a storm from another dude.

It fucking hurts, but we can't look away without our dicks in our hands.

The thing is, we over here in BJ land, already knew the magic that Leroy can produce. For everybody else in Baseball America, you now are all experiencing what we enjoyed for almost 10 years.

I enjoy a tidily pitched ballgame by Doc. There were many a time where I'd catch a game where Halladay was supposed to start at 7:05, and already had movie tickets for 10, and made it for both, with no hassle. It was as if Doc had tickets to the SAME movie and we were going to meet up . . .

I love the fact that Leroy gets to pitch in front of 50,000 instead of 5,000 (even though most of us were part of that crowd). And on behalf of the rest of us Jays fans, we are happy to see him pitch in the playoffs.

But Doc, did you REALLY have to pitch that no-hitter on your FIRST playoff game?!

Shit.

Download This! Take Me Somewhere Nice w/ CD cover!



Take Me Somewhere Nice

01 Al Corley - Square Rooms
02 Grum - Through the Night
03 Ke - Strange World
04 Mogwai - Take Me Somewhere Nice
05 Supergrass - She's So Loose
06 Anberlin - Impossible
07 Perez Prado - Que Rico El Mambo
08 Kisses - Kisses
09 Pet Shop Boys - Being Boring
10 Foamo - Generate Some Heat
11 Duck Sauce - Barbara Streisand
12 M.I.A. - Steppin' Up (Religion remix)
13 Yelle - La Musique (Lorenz Rhode remix)
14 Marina And the Diamonds - Oh No (Grum remix)
15 Kanye West - Runaway
16 Men At Work - People Just Love To Play With Words
17 Chromeo - The Right Type

Quick Quips

- This is my disclaimer that this mix is synth-heavy. Still good, though. Just open your mind.

- That Duck Sauce track will be in every basement dance club for a long time. Catchy. As. Hell.

- Most of these tracks I've used before in previous mixes. I like to recycle.

- I tried my hardest to find some Perez Prado on vinyl while I was honeymooning in Cuba. It's frustrating when nobody has it, heard of it, and tries to sell you some Buena Vista Social Club. I like my talent dead, people! DEAD!

- Watched The Motorcycle Diaries again. Still beautiful. I included a Perez Prado track from the movie. Enjoy.


- I'm totally in love with that LA band Kisses. It's synth-y melancholy. The way the reverb of Jesse's voice bounces around the room, affirms that THIS is a different melancholy. I hope that you love it as much as I do.

- That Anberlin single is quite misleading. "Impossible," is totally strong, but the rest of Dark Is the Way, Light Is A Place, is like watching a dick go limp.

- Ke was this weirdo that I saw a video of a long time ago. Just some funny-looking dude in leather pants with an unusually high range, being overly dramatic. Great song, though. Look him up. While you're at it, look this up (waving middle finger.)!

- The title of the mix as well as this blog is from the Mogwai song.



Download the mix here:

http://www.zshare.net/download/81344369cd332dfa/

Click on the button above to BUY ME A COFFEE!

Monday, October 4, 2010

Eastbound And Down, S02E02!



Watch Episode Dos here:



Switch to full-screen mode to check the whole thing out.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Closing Out The Last Of Summer!



Last night's slugfest came as a fitting end to the Jays' season, mashing a league best 247 HR. Let's not get sad, like I usually do when the last traces of summer give way to change. Let's recap some of the positives from this year:


Ricky Romero is a bonafide stud. Although he posted a 13-9 win-loss record this year, you can see with every start when his stuff and control eluded him, RR Cool Jay (@taoofstieb came up with the name) found that battling instinct that only the rare possess, and still made it deep into games. Romero posted 202 1/3 IP. Remind you of somebody? Maybe somebody we knew before?


Snider IS the fucking future! Cito held him back a shit ton for the past two years, and Sniderman (@drunkjaysfans get the credit) WILL get that chip off his shoulder in the years to follow. He even swatted a homer on Cito's farewell night wearing a fake Cito moustache! You gotta love that kid!


JoBau WILL be back next year! He likes Toronto. The steroids are good here.


V-Dub will also be back next year. He had a decent season, but was behind JoBau's shadow.


Yunel Escobar will be patrolling at short next year. As talented as he is lazy, I can't wait to see what he does in the future.


And don't worry, Brian Tallet will still be around to be our whipping boy as, 'Shitty Jay Of Every Game.' @drunkjaysfans recommended a stint on the DL due to, 'arm shittiness.' Plausible.

If you still need a baseball fix, go and root for this guy.


Halladay is one of our own. He just exudes class and excellence. He is our own modern-day Christy Mathewson. Enjoy the likes of him while you can. I'm rooting for Doc to win the Cy. I even tweeted to that retard @punkondeck that he would. But really, fuck that assblood!

If you can't root for the Doc, root for these:


"GO PHILLIES!"

Remember that "Shitty Blue Jay Of the Week," is still on. I've taken a break, because of all the sex I've been having from my honeymoon, but I'll be back with a vengeance. Next up is Carlos Delgado! Send some hate-mail and erotic stories my way . . .



If you're still facing some heartache, follow these awesome bloggers:

@humandchuck

@mopupduty

@MLBastian

And don't worry, pitchers and catchers report for duty in 4 months! Keep yourself occupied until then!

And if that isn't enough, check out this motherfucker:



If you don't get HBO, email me and I'll forward you a link to some of the episodes!

Click up on that corner, and BUY ME A COFFEE!