More About Nothing!

Quickly . . .



- That's that for me for this year's edition of country hardball. The better team got knocked out before they could even make it to the big dance. It was an inopportune time for the Phillies' bats to get cold.

Word on the grapevine is that Leroy was playing with a hernia. Talk about pitching your guts out! Next year, Doc!

Anyway, the baseball season is over. I couldn't care less about a West Coast Series.

- We are almost finished our time here up north, and I will be back to reality shortly. Before I go, look out for my post on some of Sudbury's greasiest spoons and some common sense tips on how not to be a fat fuck. You can start by not visiting this place:




- "Shitty Blue Jay," is still happening. Just trying to gather up some Carlos Delgado stories. So if you have any dirt on this guy regarding a sextape, farm animals, a foray into gay, snorting cocaine off a hooker's ass (sorry Mr. Gruber), or any other thing that may sound exciting, please email me. Dish the dirt.



- Eastbound And Down, Season Dos is fucking awesome and is in my psyche right now. Kenny Powers is the most awesome anti-hero that I could ever witness. Check him out making his Mexican baseball debut:



Another grapevine rumour: Kenny Powers will be back for a Season Tres!

- Be sure to check out my next mix. It's catchy as hell. No, not really. I just pull stuff together by purging out what I've been hoarding in my hard drive that isn't porn. There's not much of that. My laptop is 95% porn, 2.5% music, and 2.5% of my saved MSN chats from when I was online dating.

- Check out my friend Berlinda's blog. Her last post was about seeing Greg Dulli from The Afghan Whigs. I'm so filled with jealousy that I could send her some Haterade! Over here:

Greetings To the New Brunette

I'll keep you posted on the rest. Maybe.

This Week's Shitty Blue Jay: Brawlin' John Frascatore

I love celebrating these no-name blue-and-whites that have contributed to my misery. Love it, totally.

John Frascatore was a middle relief-er who came to Toronto in the 1999 mid-season, as an afterthought of the Tony Batista trade with Arizona (where we made out like a bunch of criminals, because Batista, Jose Cruz Jr., Raul Mondesi, and King Carlos Delgado were a then record-setting group to hit 20 HR or more before the All-Star Break in 2000.), Frascatore performed well in middle relief. He posted 7 wins and 1 loss, maintaining an ERA of 3.41 in 1999 for the Jays.

Unfortunately, the year 2000 was not so kind to John. He posted a record of 2 wins and 4 losses, with an ERA of 5.43. His frustration led to the famous dugout brawl with former Jay and then pitching coach Dave Stewart. Stew, a fierce competitor himself, gave no quarter, and the brawl took extra steps to the Jays clubhouse.

Frascatore was apologetic and remorseful afterward, but his career as a Blue Jay was pretty much over. Stewart must've laid a beating on him! He played for the Jays until 2001, and then was banished to the minors and never heard from again.

CURRENT WHEREABOUTS

Is currently part of a high school faculty at Nature Coast, Florida. Oddly enough, was recently removed from his coaching job for the Class 4A Baseball team for being ultra-competitive, despite leading them to the playoffs.

No shit. Read the article here:

http://blogs.tampabay.com/preps/2009/06/frascatore-out-at-nature-coast.html

That's why I decided to keep his nickname up on the marquee. Always brawlin'.

(Be sure to click on some of my shitty Google ads, so I can clock some dollars! Scrawl back to see some of the past weeks' Shitty Blue Jays, and vote for YOUR favourite!)

Next week: Tony Batista!

This Week's Shitty Blue Jay: Jose Cruz Jr.

I am fucking shitting myself. Shitting myself totally.

I'm was in my mouldy basement, rummaging around through stuff that the cat pee and the rat droppings didn't hurt, and I came across a team photo of the shitty 1999 Toronto Blue Jays. I nearly shit my pants, I was so excited! I looked from end to end, reminiscing back to dark times. It pretty much had all of your Jays that are featured on the poll to the right.

The shitty part was, when I tried to scan the faces individually, they all come out looking like they belong in a witness relocation program. All of their ugly mugs were blurred out and pixelated, as if their time in a Jays uni were criminal.

So you all have to bear with these shitty, Yahoo images that took very little effort to acquire. Enjoy.

Nothing but the best for my readers. All two of you.

Jose Cruz Jr. came to Toronto through a trade with Seattle. The Mariners had high expectations of him, and were reluctant to let him go. When we offered Seattle a bag of baseballs for Junior Cruz, he was immediately sent packing.

His first day in a Toronto uniform was spectacular. He was just fresh from the trade and was playing in old Tiger Stadium in Detroit. Without cleats of his own, First Baseman Carlos Delgado promptly loaned him his spare pair.

I recall that first at bat. With his newly loaned, oversized footwear, Cruz Jr. promptly hits the loudest, fastest home run to the facade of Tiger Stadium. If it weren't for that, the ball would have ended up in outer space. I mean, it was still headed upwards!

With that, came our high expectations set on this poor guy. He performed admirably, hitting 108 home runs for his 5 year run in TO. But he also struck out 563 times in 2347 at bats. So in every 4 at bats, Cruz Jr. would likely strike out. In every 22 at bats, he would launch it out of the park.

As you can see above, Junior Cruz bounced around from team to team to team. He finished with a .247 average, and 204 HR. His time in Toronto was probably his best, but he was much maligned for his lethargic play and sometimes disinterested look on his face.

I guess when your family comes from a baseball pedigree, your career options are limited. I'm sure he would have been happy being a professional knitter. Come to think of it, WE would have been happy with that also. To be spared of that frustration would have been nice.



His claim to fame was getting away with putting the dirtiest word on the Jumbotron. When his profile came and showed his interests and whatnot. He mentioned that his favourite movie was . . . wait for it . . . SNATCH!


CURRENT WHEREABOUTS
Released by the Houston Astros in 2007, still looking disinterested.

Next week: Brawlin' John Frascatore!