Monday, May 10, 2010

This Week's Shitty Blue Jay: Jose Cruz Jr.

I am fucking shitting myself. Shitting myself totally.

I'm was in my mouldy basement, rummaging around through stuff that the cat pee and the rat droppings didn't hurt, and I came across a team photo of the shitty 1999 Toronto Blue Jays. I nearly shit my pants, I was so excited! I looked from end to end, reminiscing back to dark times. It pretty much had all of your Jays that are featured on the poll to the right.

The shitty part was, when I tried to scan the faces individually, they all come out looking like they belong in a witness relocation program. All of their ugly mugs were blurred out and pixelated, as if their time in a Jays uni were criminal.

So you all have to bear with these shitty, Yahoo images that took very little effort to acquire. Enjoy.

Nothing but the best for my readers. All two of you.

Jose Cruz Jr. came to Toronto through a trade with Seattle. The Mariners had high expectations of him, and were reluctant to let him go. When we offered Seattle a bag of baseballs for Junior Cruz, he was immediately sent packing.

His first day in a Toronto uniform was spectacular. He was just fresh from the trade and was playing in old Tiger Stadium in Detroit. Without cleats of his own, First Baseman Carlos Delgado promptly loaned him his spare pair.

I recall that first at bat. With his newly loaned, oversized footwear, Cruz Jr. promptly hits the loudest, fastest home run to the facade of Tiger Stadium. If it weren't for that, the ball would have ended up in outer space. I mean, it was still headed upwards!

With that, came our high expectations set on this poor guy. He performed admirably, hitting 108 home runs for his 5 year run in TO. But he also struck out 563 times in 2347 at bats. So in every 4 at bats, Cruz Jr. would likely strike out. In every 22 at bats, he would launch it out of the park.

As you can see above, Junior Cruz bounced around from team to team to team. He finished with a .247 average, and 204 HR. His time in Toronto was probably his best, but he was much maligned for his lethargic play and sometimes disinterested look on his face.

I guess when your family comes from a baseball pedigree, your career options are limited. I'm sure he would have been happy being a professional knitter. Come to think of it, WE would have been happy with that also. To be spared of that frustration would have been nice.

His claim to fame was getting away with putting the dirtiest word on the Jumbotron. When his profile came and showed his interests and whatnot. He mentioned that his favourite movie was . . . wait for it . . . SNATCH!


Released by the Houston Astros in 2007, still looking disinterested.

Next week: Brawlin' John Frascatore!

No comments: