Thursday, September 27, 2012

Take A Flyer . . .

I hope to see you there.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Download This! I Drink Because You're Boring w/ CD Cover!

i drink because you're boring

telephoned - i'm real
clams casino - i'm god
ellie goulding - high for this
sleep 8 over - romantic streams(cfcf remix)
we are manor - afghan hound
theme park - jamaica(gigamesh remix)
erika spring - happy at you gates(aeroplane remix)
lana del rey - born to die(guxxi vump remix)
moon boots - sugar
plastic plates - more than love
grimes - vanessa(raremix edit)
short circuit - late night drive(fiero remix)
anoraak - try me(jupiter remix)
ladyhawke - blue eyes(ron flieger remix)

download link here:

I will be helping my brother dj an all 80's stag and doe for my friends Steve and Julia.  I figured that 80's music would be my wheelhouse when it comes to djing, but I'm actually having a hard time flowing it all together.  It will be a very interesting night.  Check out the flyer below for more information, or click here to pre-buy tickets.  Or you can contact me.

Hope to see everybody there . . .

Thursday, September 6, 2012

DJ Set On the 29th!!!

I'm opening up for my brother DJ VinnieV.  An 80's-themed buck and doe.  Vin will rock the place with all of the hits.  I'll try to warm everybody up.

Here is my rough set:

When In Rome - The Promise
The Buggles - Video Killed the Radio Star
Wang Chung - Everybody Have Fun Tonight
Peter Cetera - Glory Of Love/Joe Esposito - You're the Best
Beastie Boys - She's Crafty
Nu Shooz - I Can't Wait
Bananarama - Cruel Summer
Baltimora - Tarzan Boy
Prince - Kiss
Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up
Depeche Mode - Everything Counts
Billy Ocean - Caribbean Queen
Information Society - What's On Your Mind?
Yaz - Situation
ABC - The Look Of Love
Jermaine Stewart - We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off
Rockwell & Michael Jackson - Somebody's Watching Me
The Gap Band - You Dropped A Bomb On Me
Ready For the World - Oh Sheila
Duran Duran - Hungry Like the Wolf
Stacey Q - Two Of Hearts
Real Life - Send Me An Angel
Prince - I Would Die 4 U
Pretty Poison - Catch Me/Journey - Don't Stop Believing

I'm sure things will change between now and the 29th, so this won't be verbatim.  Just a quick go at her.

Download here:

Feel free to add comments or suggestions, mail-bombs, trojans, whatever.

Monday, August 27, 2012

The Mid-Life Crisis

I want to fucking die.


In the market for a fast motorcycle to kill myself in style.

Click on the 'DONATE,' button to the right to help me on my way, and put me out of my misery.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

A Link

In the 90's, my brother and I had a three-piece band called Curtis Mathis.  It was named after a tv.  We wrote songs, played around for a bit, then released a split 7" with another band called Cartoon Khaki called Naked Boys, Naked Boys, Sweaty, Glistening, Naked Boys!  We pressed 500 copies, and still have oodles and oodles of vinyl leftover!

Most of the songs that my brother and I collaborated on were just childish attempts at songwriting.  We did our best to fill a live set.  Even though we released the best representation of us in vinyl form, most of the songs from our sets were never recorded.  Hell, I haven't even tried to revisit those songs in close to 20 years!

My brother recently suggested that we try and record those lost tracks.  In this day and age of technology, it would be on the cheap.  I'm still thinking about it.

Here is his attempt at revisiting those songs:

We'll try to keep you updated on whether or not we go through the recording process or not.  I'm still not keen on unearthing some of those songs.  I feel that those pieces of writing were a part of the past, and feel no need to rehash.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

New Lines! 2 Week's Worth!

I again apologize for the lack of posts.  On vacay with the fam-dam for a while, so the entries have been nonexistent.  Here we go:

Jesse Litsch Tells It Like It Is

Nothing much happened on the week before I took a hiatus.  Dix N Chix lost again miserably.  Awful start, clawed back late.  Way late.  By the time we were ready to play, the opposition were already packing their equipment, enjoying their easy win.

The heat was kind of an issue with all of us.  We were kind of listless when we took the field.  It was tough to care when one:  you team is losing, very badly.  and two:  when it's hot as fuck, and all you're doing when you move, is breathe fire in and out of your lungs.  Anyway, it was a bad scene.

I went 0 for 3 at the plate.  All horrible, lazy hits.

The umpire at the game looked exactly like Jesse Litsch, that fat dickskin that used to pitch for the Blue Jays.  After the game, he mentioned to me that I was reaching for every ball that I swung at.  Everything out of the strike zone.  I thought about it long after the game was over, and then I said, 'fuck that fat piece of shit Jesse-Litsch-lookalike!  I'll swing at whatever I want!'

I think maybe next time though, I'll swing the bat with my eyes open.

The Week After:  The Tie!

This week's edition of Dix N Chix were a completely different team.  We were loud, confident, and had flashes of being fundamentally sound.  I found myself growling from the outfield, and I could feel the opposition, unfortunately named The Poisonous BeeYotches, shitting their pants a little.

I hit a leadoff home run to start the game, the first of my three hits of the game.  A couple of things led to a change in my productivity at the plate:  first, during my vacation time with the family, I snuck out to the batting cages and refined a couple of things to transition me into a pull hitter.  I came into the game confident of pulling anything, including my nuts.  Second, our regular home run hitter brought in a new bat to break in.  I love using new things.  His bat had an odd weight distribution to it, where it was heavy on the end, and was hard to get the body used to it.  The bat was tailored for my swing, which was slow and lumbering.

I ripped the ball down the third base line for a triple on my second at bat.  I am now a pull hitter.

The team were showing improvement on the defensive side.  We were communicating well, defending, and even backing each other up, which I never thought would catch on.  We were pretty good on the basepaths as well, showing a lot of hustle, making the BeeYotches look like the real deal, making error after error on their throws.

My last at bat.  Bottom of the last inning, the 7th or whatever it was.  Two out.  Game tied.  Runners in scoring position.  I loved that situation.  Put me in that place every time and I'll always come through.  Not this time, though, as I hit into a fielder's choice, and I'm growling and freaking out, wanting to do it over again.

We are getting close.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Last Night's Line: No-Win Situation

Yup.  Dix N Chix are still looking for that elusive win.  Of course, I'd love for my baseball games to be as lush and crisp and green as the picture above, but alas, it's never like the pictures.  In reality, we play on a handful of fields that are poorly maintained, at best.  At least the field last night had benches and bleachers to plop our asses down on.

The picture above is how I envision myself when I'm out there, in a romantical(it's my new word) way.  Hell, we both possess the same number.

Again, there is this thing with this team.  We have the potential to be good.  But we don't tend to wake up until the late innings, when the game's already out of hand.  I think last night's score was a very competitive 14-7, but that alone is deceiving.  At one point, we were on the losing side of 7-0, then compounded to a 14-2, before we realized that we were in a ballgame.

I went 2 for 3, with some cheap singles.  The only ball I hit with authority was a lazy fly to left.  The swing is under construction.  I took some hacks at the fastball cages last week and made some adjustments.  The big home run hitter on our team referred to a dude on Youtube, maybe 5 foot-fuck-all, hitting home runs with consistency.

"All about swing mechanics," he says.

Before the change in my swing, I was asking him what he was doing while he was in the batters box before clobbering the ball.

"I'm thinking about everything.  My wrists, my grip, where my feet are, where the bat head is placed.  Everything."

And you wonder why my swing got messed up?  Talking to team's slugger butt fucked everything.

The fielding was relatively okay.  We held the opposition a few times.  We played some fundamentally sound baseball for a few innings, but the errors through the overthrows, getting burned in the outfield, and just good hitting from the opposition did us in.

I made one out on a liner to shallow left.  I also took an awful route to a grounder to the outfield, and the ball squibbed through my legs.  The picture below illustrates.
Next week we'll be better.  Unless we're not.

If anyone knows that YouTube guy's name, please scroll to the right and email me.  God knows I could use the direction.
- Just finished The Art Of Fielding by Chad Harbach.  Got through it in a day and a half.  As I keep telling my wife, "I don't read anything except baseball books and vintage porn."  I don't count gay erotica as porn though, so sorry Chad Harbach, you only met 1 out of my 2 requirements.  Good try.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Last Night's Line

Team lost 15-5.  At the beginning of the game we finally received our shirts.  Baby blue with 'DIX AND CHIX,' in hot pink.  At least now we can say that we lose in a colourful manner.

I went 0 for 2, lining out hard both times.  My swing is fucked.

Caught a ball hit on a line, and I nonchalantly got it.  I made an outfielder's motion to indicate the outs, and some guy on the other team called me Colby.

I prefer Cletus, myself.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

My Team This Year(with Last Night's Line)

So, I'm weeks into my new slo-pitch team.  It's been years since I made MVP of the league in Hamilton.  I was so meticulous with stats then.  Now, I don't even bother.

I know this year, I've hit a grand slam, 2 triples, lots of legged out singles.  This year, is about fun.  I stress 'fun,' every game, since losing isn't at all part of my makeup.  And all we do is lose.  I think we're 0-8 this season.

I'm patrolling either right or left center in the outfield, and can run anything down.  When I first started playing at a late age, I didn't want anyone to hit it my way.  I prayed at every at bat that nobody would hit the ball to me to expose the flaws of my defence.  I really prayed until I tried to catch a lazy fly ball with my chest.  I remember playing the rest of that season with what felt like some cracked ribs.  These days, I can't wait for chumps to hit it my way.

Last night's game was the worst night to play, with the day's heat just lingering on.  It just felt like my cleats melted on the grass.  I made a boneheaded groundball play where it went between my legs.  A lazy fly ball that I got to, trickled off my glove.  I finally made a play for the year with a line drive putout.  I felt like Cletus Rasmus at center, making it look routine, which I may say, is not a bad thing.  The mercy rule was put upon us, 20-5.  Yuck.
I'm also a pesky baserunner.  I run hard at everything, because the coach on my first team would have my head if I didn't hustle and use my speed on the basepaths.  Last night, I slid hard at 2 bases.  The guys on the other team liked the intense way I played.  I'm the only one out there getting dirty.  Maybe I should have hooked up with them.

 My batting swing this year is totally fucked.  I'm usually a straight line drive hitter, but this year I feel totally out of shape, and it feels like I'm not hitting with any authority.  There's this guy on my team that hits huge home runs, and after talking with him and what he goes through in his head at every at bat, my swing is as worse as ever.  He recommended that I quit going the opposite way and start extending my arms and pull the ball.  The results are brutal.

Anyway, dear readers, I'll keep you posted.  This is supposed to be 'fun,' right?

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Sweet Dream . . .

I made it.  I was freaking out on Kelly Johnson and maybe Luis Perez over the major league level showers.  I was jumping up and down in front of them and they were giggling.  I was in awe.  

My role was to cover Colby Rasmus at center.  I was shagging flies with him out on the field and was amazed at how much ground he covered, his glove was a magnet to all those fly balls.  It was impossible for me to do what he does.  Just last week, I misjudged an easy fly at softball.  Nevertheless, John Farrell said, "if Colby's out, you're in," which was a great boost for my confidence.

After warm-up, the guys decided to have a round of  'bieber my balls,' where we all gathered in a circle and knee'd each other in the crotch, crane-style.  Extra points were given to the guys who got both knees in.  Jason Frasor was my partner, and he was easy to bieber.

After my turn, I realized that it was close to game time, and I was out of uniform.  I was sitting on a bench in front of the lockers watching Colby Rasmus hurriedly getting dressed.  Right beside his locker was mine, getting restocked, I just sat there marvelling over my last name in blue and white.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

The "Buy Me A Scotch!" Button Is Active!

Alright, you rich motherfuckers!  Time to show me some love!

Click on the 'DONATE,' button on the upper right hand corner to buy me my drink of choice, Scotch.

I'm well on my way to becoming that lousy writer that you've become familiar with.  Contributing to my alcoholism will cement that path.

Do it quickly!

I'm thirsty!

Friday, May 25, 2012

Download This! Go Where the People Dance w/ CD Cover!

go where the people dance 

beach house - myth
keep shelly in athens - our own dream(blackbird blackbird remix)
m83 - kim and jessie
moon boots - bills to pay
jupiter - mama used to say
lana del rey - blue jeans(moonlight matters remix)
childish gambino - heartbeat
pacific! - hold me(breakbot remix)
midnight magic - drop me a line(holy ghost remix)
metric - help, i'm alive(the twelves remix)
gamble and burke - let's go together(grum remix)
housse de racket - chateau(punks jump up remix)

download here:

- I was a heavy metallist in the early 90's, before Kurt Cobain obliterated my people with his shitty Fender Jazzmaster.  I had to bury my metal tendencies deep down and began to appreciate technically shitty and very lazy indie rock(remember Pavement, anyone?).  I went through all kinds of transformations and progressions, but kept my metal roots.  Moving into electronic music was an organic transition, since indie rock and all of it's shittiness was becoming very boring, and was trying to shift in that direction anyway.
- The Moon Boots/Jupiter/Lana Del Rey section is awesome.  I'm enjoying the use of Virtual DJ.  The song to song transitions are starting to get less sloppy now.
- I went to one of the last Disco/Punk's that I will ever attend, and DJ Nights played something so killer, that I had to ask him who the fuck it was.  Breakbot.
- Disco/Punk no longer exists in Hamilton.  My wife and I are looking for another one.  Any suggestions?  We are trying to follow the title of this mix.  Reply below or e-mail me.

Friday, May 4, 2012

From the Electric Youth Show . . .

"You buy this shirt!  I usually wear mine with a nice pair of jeans and boots!  You'll look totally swag!"

Sunday, April 29, 2012


Who knew that E5 would be making a bid to be an All-Star? Three homers in three games, including last night's salami. All I can say is, "wow."


- Yes, I still write about the Jays once in a while. I've been able to catch every game on TV thanks to my newly acquired PVR. Believe me, I'm watching. From time to time, I'll write about some poignant observations that is baseball.
- Jays Talk on the radio is back, and already I can't believe the number of entitled retards that call in and expect to contend for the playoffs right now. People should not put such lofty expectations on a group of human beings paid to play a children's game. Baseball has a way of levelling things out and showing what a team can really do in a long season. Just relax and enjoy the sounds of summer. It's easier said than done, since you catch me yelling at my favourite players as well.
- I promise to post more, even though I work a full-time job, have kids to entertain, and a honey-do list of things around the house. So please, be patient, and check often.

Monday, April 2, 2012

My God . . .

Three days until Opening Day . . . in Cleveland!

You better hop on!

Friday, March 30, 2012

The Fragile Man

The oft-injured and highly touted pitcher of the Toronto Blue Jays, Dustin McGowan, is again hurt. This time with his foot. He is likely headed to the Disabled List with plantar fasciitis, and won't be going north with the club.

On a related note, before his injury, the Blue Jays awarded McGowan with a 2-year contract extension. This was in faith in Dustin McGowan, the man. The man who in the past few years have battled through a torn rotator cuff, Tommy John, and two knee surgeries.

It was questioned whether he would be able to come back to the major league level after all of his injury issues. He pitched for the Jays in 2011 and posted an 0-2 record with a 6.43 ERA. McGowan came into camp this spring as the favoured fifth starter on the Blue Jays' rotation.

Monday, March 26, 2012

How Not To Handle A Prospect . . .

Travis Snider will start this year in baseball purgatory with the Triple-A farm team, the Las Vegas 51s. Apparently he lost the starting left fielder's job to Eric Thames.

I can't wait for a season of light-hitting, shitty defence at left field. I was watching Thames try to get a clue on the field last year. I thought we still had Corey Patterson!

Check out other reactions to this:

mike wilner

mop up duty

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Casey Janssen: Overachiever

Casey Janssen wowed the hell out of me in 2011, posting a 6-0 W-L, 2.26 ERA, and 7 Holds, working from the bullpen. If there was somebody that you could count on to get a shutdown inning from in the 'pen, it was Janssen.

Almost 3 years removed from shoulder surgery, Janssen fit in perfectly from stints on the rotation before settling in the bullpen. Long relief, garbage time, set-up, close, whatever he was thrown into, Casey just seemed to flourish. Toronto rewarded him and avoided arbitration by agreeing to a two-year, $5.9 million contract with a $4 million option for 2014.

His role is to be the 7th inning arm, before Jason Frasor and new closer Sergio Santos.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Question Mark

We blew up our bullpen last year to trade for a young center fielder, named Colby Rasmus. He has a pretty nice swing, a carefree demeanour and an Alabama drawl that you pass the done time over yonder with. Totally reminds me of another similar center fielder:

He reminds me of Mickey Mantle, who is in the Baseball Hall Of Fame. Rasmus has the potential to be a Mantle if he gets consistent and happy. He could also flame out just like last year, because of his mindset. I wonder who our guy is going to turn out to be this year?

Sunday, March 11, 2012

The Upgrade

Would you let this fucking psychopath close out your games? Hell fucking no! This guy is a total flake, and not in a good productive way that closers tend to be.

The nuttier the closer, the more effective they are. But that isn't the case for Francisco. He has crazy electric stuff, and can throw through a brick wall, but his head needs a shake, or lobotomy. He was always too inside himself, prone to doubt and panic, leading to a lot of tense moments at the end of games.

He saved 17 but blew 4. His closer-partner Jon Rauch led in blown saves with 5, but he is Frank's opposite. Sound mind, no stuff. Rauch's pitch is a batting practice fastball. It's most likely we need to get a lively arm for the late part of games.

UPDATE: Both signed mercifully with the New York Mets. Their replacement, Sergio Santos, was plucked from the Chicago White Sox. He saved 30, and blew 6 games in 2011. Still, the 6 blown was lesser than Francisco and Rauch's combined, with more production on the tail end of Toronto's bullpen.

Monday, February 27, 2012

My Ricky Romero Dream . . .

It goes like this . . . I was walking beside a quiet river. Nothing special. Off in the distance, I see Blue Jays pitcher Ricky Romero in the water. He was just having a soak, lazily treading.

I walk towards his direction, when I notice a half of a fin pop up on the water beside me. I frantically yelled, "RICKY! SHARK!" as the fin swam to his direction. Ricky stayed where he was until the big figure in the water reached him and pulled him under.

The shark's shadow in the water turned around and headed back into my direction. I grabbed a tree branch to try and slow the shark down. I put in in the water, held on and waited for it to pass me. As it crossed my tree branch, I felt a huge force pulling it away. The shark was big.

A few meters past me, emerged Ricky, with a tiny cut on his leg. Nothing else.

In my dreams, I thought, "Holy Fuck, these Mexicans are tough."

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Download This! Space Is Depressing As Hell w/CD Cover!

Okay. This is my first foray into Virtual DJ. There are some sloppy parts, just because I was drunk in the making of this mix. Hell, I'm drunk right now in the middle of this blog post!

I may have a problem . . .

Space Is Depressing As Hell

short circuit - after burner(intro)
mel c ft. left eye - never be the same again
michael jackson - human nature
anoraak - above your head
m83 - this bright flash
bon iver - babys(second date edit)
college ft. electric youth - a real hero
tegan and sara - alligator(toro y moi remix)
the one am radio - everything falls apart
lali puna - our inventions
young empires - enter through the sun(slow waves remix)
short circuit - after burner
teen daze - brooklyn sunburn
annie - anthonio(fred falke remix)
college ft. electric youth - she never came back

Download link here.


- I can't get over the synth-y-ness of College. It really takes me back to the 80's, when the only people that were doing it with ease in movie soundtracks only had first names like Jan, and last names like, Hammer. I've downloaded both College albums and they don't compare at all with their collaborations with Electric Youth.

- That Bon Iver track is beautiful. If it doesn't make you cry, then you have no soul. I didn't cry at the end of The Notebook, so what does THAT say about me?

- There is a loose theme to this. The space motifs, the astro-cosmonaut covers, and the odd titles complete the triumvirate. No more space themes, I promise! Did I ever mention that when I was young, I wanted so badly to be a space explorer? Must've been all of that giant robot anime that I grew up with.

- I still have that 2011 Jays Recap post that needs to be finished. Maybe it'll be done before the 2012 season starts. But maybe not. Do you think all of this scotch at my house is going to drink itself? My Netflix queue ain't gonna wait for me, either. So maybe I'll see you at the end of 2012, and blog about 2 seasons in one post!

- The main theme of this mix is that I'm depressed. Winter is brutal and I can't handle it. I made up a plan this year to combat it with a SADD light, a better diet, and a workout routine. Frankly, all I've been doing this winter is eating crap, drinking copious amounts of alcohol every night, and being miserable. I don't think I've even taken the SADD light out of the box! I really can't wait until summer!

Friday, February 10, 2012

A Mixtape Answer To Your Mixtape Question . . .

My housewarming party went off without a hitch(though I had to play a lot of Journey songs to get rid of the goat.), and my good friend Wayne left me a jug of wine and a beautiful mix.

Here is the tracklist:

1:lioness-you're my heart.
4:fuck buttons-rough steez
6:suuns-long division (fugazi cover)
7:devo-don't shoot (i'm a man)
8:kool keith-i'm seein' robots
9:A.R.E. weapons-don't be scared
10:death grips-spread eagle cross the block
11:zomby-things fall apart
13:the d'ubervilles-hot tips
14:valleys-tan lines
15:dirty beaches-lord knows best
16:lana del rey-video games
17:peaking lights-hey sparrow
18:arab strap-dream sequence
19:sleigh bells-rill rill
20:spinnerette-ghetto love

Of course, I have to answer back. Here is the proposed cover:

I intend to use the College track from the Drive soundtrack, since Wayne used the awesome Kavinsky song on his. I'm actually going to mix this with Virtual DJ, so this should be interesting.


Stay tuned!

Sunday, January 22, 2012

2011 Record Of the Year!

I was on the fence about this year's choice, but after seeing the movie Drive, and that opening theme by Kavinsky, I got my ass off the fence and actually took a side. Cliff Martinez composed the majority of the album, barring picks from said Kavinsky and French band College. This soundtrack reminds me of an 80's B-movie that I probably caught(and I've sat through quite a bit, believe me).

Take my word for it, it's synth-y heavenly.