Sunday, June 27, 2010

This Week's Shitty Blue Jay: Pedro Fucking Borbon

After yesterday's 11-2 stinkfest, it feels quite good putting up this post, illustrating some of the shitty relief-ers from the lost years.

I enjoyed the fact that Cito Gaston brought out of his shitties that were in his dog house to finish up the fucking mess of a game yesterday. It made me want to unearth some of the junk relief crew that we had years before, and start chanting their names:


That's right! This week is Pedro Fucking Borbon's!

I know, dear readers, that it may seem like I'm just going through the motions with this Shitty Blue Jay thing:

"This week, fill-in-the-fucking-blank, while I show you some numbers derived from Wiki and demonstrate my profanity-laden vernacular."

But I swear to you, dear readers, it's different from that. Not much, but so what?

Pedro Borbon is actually Pedro Borbon Jr. His father, Sr., was THE REAL DEAL, as a relief pitcher for the Cincinnati Reds of the, 'Big Red Machine,' era. He won two Worlds Series rings, before putting a voodoo curse on the Reds, supposedly inducing quite a losing streak, after terminating his services.

Jr., did come from his dad's balls. Although he had his own success, it didn't measure up to Sr.'s, as with all sons trying get out of Dads' shadow. He had made one appearance in the 1995 World Series with the Atlanta Braves, taking over for Mark Wohlers before Wohlers would lose his mind and never throw a strike again. Borbon would get the save, and Atlanta would eventually get the series.

Atlanta kept him until 1996, and there was a 3-year spell in-between Major League stints, when the Dodgers picked him up in 1999. God knows why. By the time we signed him in 2000, he was basically useless.

I remember one Opening Day in 2002. It was the year of Roy Halladay's resurgence. I recall Doc pitching a gem of a game. 8IP, 1ER, 7K, something like that, since memories of Halladay starts bleed over, and all numbers are of a similar theme. Anyway, Leroy pitches this beautiful game, and gets Borbon to come in and close it out for the win. What fuck!

If you have never witnessed Borbon pitch, I'm sorry. Sometimes it's a work of art, and most of the time, it's a piece of shit. I think his sidearm fastball clocked at 85-86 mph, and everything slowed down from there. He had a long, looping curveball, that made hitters salivate, and his fastball was slow and straight.

Anyway, it was excruciating. Having Borbon finish things up was just painful and anti-climactic.

He was labelled as THE closer for part of the 2002 season, before hitters woke up from their cocaine-booze-and-hooker hangovers and started to light him up like a Christmas Tree. He was traded to Houston, mid-season.


Last seen in 2003 in St. Louis, with an 0-1 record, and a bloated 20.25 ERA.

Can you say retired?

Maybe, dear readers (all 2 of you), you should fill in the blank!

Next Week: Tom Davey

(Go to the Paypal link and BUY ME A COFFEE!)

Thursday, June 24, 2010

The Dirtiest Show On TV!

This fucking show makes me blush. 'Blue Mountain State,' is hilarious as hell. It's full of foul-mouthed motherfuckers, in a 'Porky-esque,' spirit.

Watch full episodes here:

I can't believe they show this shit on TV. Enjoy it while you can. Here's a clip where the whole football team do Cloris Leachman as a prank:

Monday, June 21, 2010

Wedding Website Upcoming . . .

My girl and I are building a wedding website to show off our extreme like for each other.

Still in the works. The website. The extreme like is all sewn up.

I'll post the link to the website and all of the other links where you can send money.

Because we love the thought of gifts to us, no matter how BIG or small the AMOUNTS are.

This Week's Shitty Blue Jay: Luis Andujar

Time to mail in this post.

You'll get a few more of these before it gets better, dear readers. I'm totally unenthused about the next batch of Blue Jay profiles coming up, including this one.

Maybe if somebody bought me a coffee . . .

Luis Andujar was acquired from the White Sox during the season of 1996. After showing some promise in 1995 as a reliefer, going 2-1 with an ERA of 3.26, he was promptly shuttled to TO after posting an 0-2 record and a horrid 8.22 ERA. He shook that off and went 1-1 and lowered his Earned Run Average down to 5.02.

Numbers are kind of daunting and sometimes hard to understand, and these are indicators on where in the baseball spectrum people rank, in the whole scheme of things. Wins and Losses are one, but can be deceiving. Innings Pitched is another measure, showing how much they worked, like playing time. Earned Run Average is one of the most telling, when used along with Innings Pitched, as a measure of how many runs the pitcher has let in during his time of work.

Luis' numbers before coming to the Jays indicated that he's on the spectrum of bad.

In 1997, for the Blue Jays, he was saddled with an 0-6 record, and in 50 IP, had an ERA of 6.48. He was totally ineffective for us the year after, posting a 9.53 ERA in 5 2/3 IP, before being put on the shelf for good.

Thank Christ for that! And if you didn't notice, he was REALLY bad.


After finishing his career with a 3-10 record, he took his $170,000 salary and promptly took it back to his home in the Dominican Republic.

If you want to kick a few bucks his way, click on my Paypal button above. I'll make sure he gets it, I swear!

Next Week: Pedro Fucking Borbon!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

This Week's Shitty Blue Jay: Bill Risley

There he is, in fine form.

From what I remember, Bill Risley was some shabby reliever for the Jays from '96 to '98. He had two pitches: a sinker and a slider. Both shitty, because he got lit up more times than I care to remember. Just showing up and trying to get Major League batters out with two shit pitches is gutsy in itself.

But in reality he should have tried throwing underhand like above. He would've had more outs that way.

His career line: 221 1/3 IP, 15 W, 13 L, 3.99 ERA in 6 years of Major League work.

Respectable, but more hittable than not.


Has since been replaced. See below.

Next week: Luis Andujar (you have to take the good with the bad, dear readers!)

(Vote to the right for YOUR shitty Blue Jay! And click on that Paypal button and Buy Me A Coffee!)

So, I'm Back On Coffee . . .

So I've been relaxing for a few weeks and had to take a vacation from coffee.

What resulted was what seemed like an eon of lethargy, doubt, and sadness. Of course, the weather didn't help much, either.

For the past couple of weeks, I turned into a bland-eating, green-tea drinking, lump moping around the house. But we did get a lot of things done.

In bullet form:

- took Milo for a couple of pokes to the legs.

- got Chewy poked (HEYO!).

- sent out invites.

- took out a lot of garbage.

- cut the grass.

- revamped our dining room, thanks to IKEA.

- danced to Junior Boys DJ-ing at The Brain.

- have hipsters pull at my mullet at the Brain.

- booked the wedding DJ.

- caught up with some friends.

- had lots of Sushi.

- had plenty of Pho at the 'Dau Bo.

- had tremendous Mexican and booked the place for our rehearsal dinner.

- spent time with the girls.

- started a gift registry.

- got fitted for suits.

- took Chewy for plenty of walks by the water.

- missed Wingfest and the Art Crawl (intentionally! We were beat!).

Anyway, that's enough to keep us occupied at home for a few weeks. Hopefully, in July we just get to relax.

After the coffee deprivation and the bland diet, I'm back to a point where I can tolerate my favourite caffeinated beverage without angry-ing up the blood. Green Tea just makes me want to get into fights and let out some negative energy. It's good and all, but . . . WHERE'S MY COFFEE?!!!

(Click on the Paypal button on your upper right hand side to buy me a coffee, if not out of like, maybe out of pity. It's a buck, seventy-four for an extra large now, so get on it!)

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Download This! let's sweat it out w/ CD Cover

Download this before my schlog gets shut down.

let’s sweat it out

01 Mineral – Love Letter Typewriter
02 Bikini Kill – Carnival
03 Adam Cohen – Tell Me Everything
04 Groovie Ghoulies – A New England
05 The Cardigans – Carnival
06 Empress – Planless
07 The Reason – This Is Taking Forever
08 The Dream – Sweat It Out
09 The Rapture – Echoes
10 Chromeo – I Can’t Tell You Why
11 Lights – Second Go
12 The Gossip – Listen Up (Punks Jump Up remix)
13 Crookers ft. Yelle – Cooler Couleur (Junkie XL remix)
14 Crystal Castles – Baptism
15 Justin Beiber vs. MSTRKRFT – Heartbreaker Baby (CJ Milli remix)
16 The Virgins – Rich Girls (Twelves remix)
17 Nightwaves – Fascination (Junkie XL remix)
18 Tiesto ft. Tegan And Sara – Feel It In My Bones
19 Notorious B.I.G vs. Miley Cyrus – Party And Bullshit In the USA (Hathbanger Mash-Up remix)
20 Au Revoir Simone – Shadows (The Teenagers remix)

It will fit in an 80-min CD. The title is from The Dream track.

You can download the zip file here:

And if you enjoy what you download, please support these artists financially, by going to the shows, buying the records, and purchasing the digital downloads.

If you enjoy what I post, click on that button to the right and Buy Me A Coffee!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

The 80's Bully

Here is a tribute to the 80's Bully.

God, how I miss them.