Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Disco Drunk Fun!

I had a fucking blast being at the December 18th edition of, 'I Say Disco, You Say Punk!' As always, they blast the kind of music that stir my soul.

The Rapture were guest DJ's before MC Uncle Buck came on. They started slow and lame, but picked up the pace to the point of mayhem. I was losing my mind to what they were playing! If anybody out there has an idea of what they were spinning, gmail me! It was THAT good.

It was a shame that I couldn't stay until the bitter end, like usual. Word of advice to everybody: Don't try to shut down, 'All you can eat sushi,' at August 8th, and then try to stir it up at Disco/Punk. Bad idea.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Found A Job!

Yes! It's true! I'm a working stiff!

Who would have thought that working on this piece of shit blog, and playing with pictures as CD covers for years, would land me a desk, a little window, and free access to a colour printer? I should be paying THEM!

The job is boring and tedious, but it does keeps me from the factory, which is nice. I finally get to an occupation where steel-toed workboots are not a requirement.

I'm finally on the other side, Ma! And I'm allowed to dress like Mad Men!

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Download This! She's Got A Mouthful Of Irony

'Tis the holidays, and the season for giving. If you are on my mailing list, a care package will come to you in a bit. If not, just click below to download, and have a safe and happy Channukah!

she's got a mouthful of irony

01 The Drums - Me And the Moon
02 Robyn - Dancing On My Own
03 Hellogoodbye - Betrayed By Bones
04 Attack In Black - Husbands
05 Neutral Milk Hotel - Two-Headed Boy
06 Coheed And Cambria - Far
07 Fifth Hour Hero - My Sympathies
08 Arcade Fire - Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains)
09 Dragonette - Easy
10 The Sounds - Painted By Numbers
11 Dil Se - Chaiyya Chaiyya
12 Grum - Turn It Up
13 MGMT - Congratulations (Erol Alkan rework)
14 Boys Noize - Trooper (Strip Steve remix)
15 Robyn - Indestructible (A-Trak radio edit)
16 Jacques Greene - (Baby I Don't Know) What You Want
17 Tokyo Police Club - Favourite Colour (PUNCHES remix)
18 Afrojack ft. Eva Simmons - Take Over Control (Barletta remix)


- The Drums are my current guilty pleasure. It's simple and hooky. That is all.

- That Robyn single is amazing. Body Talk in three parts is kinda much, though. I included her, "Indestructible," remix to applaud her efforts.

- I used the Ukulele Recordings of "Betrayed By Bones," by Hellogoodbye. It sounds more quaint and intimate.

- The change from the quiet of Hellogoodbye to the loud rasp of Attack In Black is one of my favourites. Attack In Black's Marriage is one of the most underrated punk albums ever released, showcasing their writing depth. I included a link for you to download here:


Really, go get it. It's THAT good.

- Dil Se's "Chaiyya Chaiyya," was from the Inside Man soundtrack. Incredible movie. I'm in disbelief that Spike Lee had a hand in that.

- Find the switch. I always throw in a track that doesn't really go with anything, but changes the pace of the mix. It's easy to find. It's always the song that is the calm before the storm. Find it, gmail me, and I will personally put you on my mailing list, where you will be subject to gay porn subscriptions and fartbombs.

- The title is from the Fifth Hour Hero track.

Download link here:


Monday, December 6, 2010

Top Three Grease-Spots In Sudbury (+ How To Lose Some Excess Poundage)

Now that we're all moved back into the south, my wife then brings with her the cold weather that we tried to run away from. It's too bad she couldn't bring back some of the richest, greasiest food from the Nickel Belt. This snowy cold makes me crave them terribly.

Here are a few of my favourite hangouts, when I feel the need for some junk in my body. All Sudbury originals!

I miss Deluxe. It's a fucking institution in Sudbury! It's so popular, that they had to build two! You can get Deluxe either by the Kingsway or Regent Street.

I crave the heart-stopping Double Deluxe with cheese, served with fries, orange gravy and coleslaw. Highly recommended!

Deluxe Hamburgers
1737 Regent St., Sudbury

When authentic Poutine is what your looking for, you gotta go to Leslie's on Regent! This is as real as you can get on the wrong side of Quebec, without putting up with the asshole Qui-beckers (although there is a hearty Franglais population in Sudbury, they are pretty harmless).

When I first entered this place to try, I shit you not, it was stifling hot and I walked out of there, sweating oil!

Make sure you pick up a Montreal-Smoked Meat Sandwich. Go for the cheese curds instead of shredded! And always, ALWAYS, go with spicy gravy!

Leslie's Charcoal Grill And Take Out
661 Notre Dame Ave., Sudbury

Nursing a hangover from killing it at Townehouse? Go get something hot, salty, and full of fat at Gloria's. And I'm not talking about the girl the took you home! ZING!

At the end of a strip-mall, sharing space with a convenience store, an ice cream shop, and a Home Hardware, Gloria's has the best atmosphere. Everybody and their mom goes there! Best breakfasts in town. Best coffee in a diner. Best everything. It is Sudbury's true jewel.

When I retire, they'll see my ugly face there every day!

469 Bouchard St., Sudbury

A Modest Proposal,
How To Lose Some Excess Poundage:

- Eat Breakfast. As soon as you wake up, no matter what time it is, it's breakfast time! I used to rely on just swilling on a cup of coffee to get me started for my day, but it always had disastrous results. I would be ravenous by noon, eating everything in my path. It made me lethargic and useless to anybody for the rest of the day.

Here's a suggestion. Why not kick start your day with some granola, or some fruit? Eat something really simple for your digestive system to do it's thing. I make myself a spinach omelette, for instance. Say hello to your metabolism going to work!

DON'T go for the country breakfast of sausage, bacon, ham, eggs, and pancakes as a morning wake-up! You might as well just stay in bed.

- Portion Control. Imagine having your normal plate of food. Now, eliminate a quarter of it, and go from there. We are being exposed by all kinds of pressure to eat. To eat crap, and to eat lots of it. Fat fucks like these even turn it into a sport, glamourizing over-indulgence.

But don't worry, they'll be dead soon, and you'll follow right after your turn in The Biggest Loser! I've already entered you in!

You have to rethink food as fuel and not something to emotionally satiate.

Try this next time: Every time you reach for food, ask yourself if you ARE hungry. If you are hungry enough to eat an apple, go reach for that. If not, find other ways to keep busy.

Like jerking off!

- Drink Ice Water. Studies at NASA state that drinking ice water on a regular basis burns a total of 1200-1400 calories a month! And it makes a lot of sense: Altering the temperature of water by even 1 degree, either up or down, requires a lot of energy. If you have doubts, check your bill to heat your hot water tank!

Your own body regulating ice water back into normal ambient temperature is the simplest way to metabolize energy. Up to 45 calories a day, just from ice water. Just ask those nerds at NASA!

- Be 75% vegetarian. Fruits and vegetables contain valuable nutrients and flavonoids that keep your body happy and healthy. It's also fibrous and full of water to keep your sodium intake balanced. While we derive most of our protein from meat, we should still keep it on our plates, as a side dish.

Picture your plate full of food. Picture half of the plate specifically for vegetables, one-quarter for starch, the last quarter for meat.

- Do something! I'm in week 2 of P90X, and it's kicking my ass! Before this, I was doing 100 push-ups, like my friend Matt. Before that, I was doing time at the Sudbury Y pool, strengthening my knees and shoulders. Before that, trained and ran a 30k Marathon. Before that, I was on the Wii Fit. And so on and so forth.

The point is, just find some activity that you would like to do that's a bit challenging, and do it. Resistance training, cardio, walking the dog, masturbating 10 times a day, whatever it is that would get your blood pumping, do as much as you can of it. Set goals. Achieve. Get better.

Our bodies need challenge. In the beginning, our roles as humans were quite clear: We were hunters and gatherers. We worked hard to get our food, as well as not to be food. And in this day and age, and modern society, we just don't have roles that cut and dry anymore. Sure, we are gatherers, but most of what we eat, we drive over to the grocery store to "gather." And it's not that big of a struggle to get. We have lots of it, and is readily accessible! So we do feed our bodies, but without that challenge and struggle that we've been programmed from before.

So you have to program yourself to change an be the hunter like you were before!

Do you want to lose weight or not?

If not, make sure your visit some of the spots that were recommended, you fat fuck!