Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Things To Miss About Hamilton #2: Junk Food Cheaply

My wife and I making a return to our hometown Hamilton for a brief tour, and it's been weeks since we've been home. So I've decided to tally up all of the certain gluttonous items that she and I enjoy when we're home, and exhibit no self-control.


It's hard to find good authentic Mexican food anywhere. This hole in the wall located on James North is a prize waiting to be found. Tacos, enchiladas, flautas,and the best guacamole-in-a-stone-bowl you will ever have. Order it up, tuck in.

They even have their own tindera, so you can take home your own tortillas and Fanta and Jarritos!

(As far as I recall though, no tamales. Kind of a drag, but fuck you! Go to McDonald's, you jagoff!)

Crystal Dynasty (pronounced Die-NASTY!)

I'm a sucker for good, tasty Chop Suey. They gots it. Their Cantonese Chow-Mein is like your mom . . . loaded and saucy. HEYO!

Situated down the street from Copps, this grease trap offers a lot of charm. I think my table consisted of a crate stood vertically, with a table-top made of chipboard! This place is ghetto-fabulous!

Harvest Moon on James is good also. Highlight dish: Spicy Fried Pork Chops.

Sushi Star

All-You-Can-Eat Sushi. And it's fucking amazing, despite the shut-down from the Food Inspection Agency.

In the heart of downtown, on King.

Very charming.

Very Good.

Please, please, try the Dragon Roll. I could eat that all day.

Please, please, don't try the Hamilton Roll. Unless you're being ironic or retarded.

Actually, with sushi, we alternate between Sushi Star, or Sapporo on Main, or August 8th on Wilson. We actually did that for a week, and by the end of it we were all sushi-ed out.

If you are looking for Pho, please check out my previous posts to find out where in Hamilton you can find a steaming bowl of sexy.


Located on King Street, across the tattoo parlor, they possess the best Chicken Shawarama in town. Their distinction from the rest of the pack is that they roll up your super-loaded pita, then slap it on the grill for a quick toast.

Super cheap. Super amazing.

They even have another location on the other side of town on Main. Other establishments that come close are Nabil's on Wilson, Sana Grill on King, the other on Barton, and Lulu's on John. Try Eat-A's first, then check out the others to compare.

Modern India Buffet

All-you-can-eat Indian food is heavenly. This place on Main has it all: the curries, the pakoras, and tandoori-style dishes to put you in a hot sweat.

Try drinking milk before gorging yourself on Hot Indian. (There's a joke in there somewhere. Please help me out by leaving some tasteless jokes in the COMMENTS section.)

There are so many places that are soooo cheap to eat at and easily accessible, that I don't understand why we even stay in to make food. This serves as a guide as to where the tour of gluttony will make their stops.

Stop by and come see us for a bite . . .

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