Now that we're seeing a lot of snow melt, being the middle of March and all, and with the hopes of Opening Day tickets already purchased, we can all tell winter to suck our collective dicks.
And now, introducing your 2010 Toronto Blue Jays . . .
Who?!
2010 TANK NATION
The Starting Pitchers
Shaun Marcum
Ricky Romero
Brandon Morrow
Mark Rzepcynski
Brian Tallet
The Lineup
Jose Bautista, RF
Aaron Hill, 2B
Adam Lind, DH
Vernon Wells, CF
Lyle Overbay, 1B
Edwin Encarnacion, 3B
Alex Gonzalez, SS
John Buck, C
Travis Snider, LF
The Relief-ers
Scott Downs
Jason Frasor
Kevin Gregg
Jeremy Accardo
Jesse Carlson
Shawn Camp or Dustin McGowan
The Bench
John McDonald
Joey Gathright
Randy Ruiz
Jose Molina
I know, I know. WHO?!
It's been slim pickings ever since we had to let our workhorse go off to greener pastures, but the heartbreaking move was necessary so that we would be able to reload our farm system with up-and-coming talent. Let's talk about some of the faces, familiar and new, of the 2010 TANK NATION squad.
Shaun Marcum RHP
Had Tommy John Surgery on his elbow 2 years ago. Has Sinker/Slider/Changeup. Looked really good before getting hurt.
Ricky Romero LHP
Went 13-9 in his first Major League Season. Got a little tired after the All-Star Break. With lessons learned from Doc Halladay regarding keeping his stamina, he should have better numbers this year.
Brandon Morrow RHP
Part of the Brandon League trade with Seattle. Was see-sawed from starter to reliever. Should be more consistent now that his role is solidified.
Mark Rzepcynski LHP
"Scrabble," to everybody else. Great groundball pitcher. Not overpowering, but more finesse. One of Cito Gaston's few favourites.
Brian Tallet LHP
Was a swingman last year and performed well. Hopefully the porn-stache does the same.
Jose Bautista RF
Utility player picked up from Pittsburgh 2 years back. Cito's new leadoff man. Big mistake, in my opinion. It seemed last year that he had a lot of strikeouts, looking. Drove me fucking insane. I even heckled him after one of those strikeouts, and I knew he heard me.
Aaron Hill 2B
Last year's comeback player returning from that concussion. Broke out and hit the shit out of the ball, and brought back our clout. Expect his numbers to dip a little bit, but still put on good numbers (AVG., HR, RBI.).
Adam Lind DH
Cito's student flourished in the DH spot all year long. Don't expect him to do much outfield work, unless Cito wants a good laugh. Will hit well for power, average, and runs batted in.
Vernon Wells CF
The longest tenured Blue Jay. And the most expensive. Pissed us off for 3 years running, because of his aversion to hitting the baseball. Coincidentally the best paid Blue Jay at $16+ million for this year, and averaging $25 million each year until 2014. Maybe he needs the money. Friends aren't free, you know?
Lyle Overbay 1B
Sure-handed, no-hitting First Baseman. Vernon Wells' illness of not being able to hit the ball spread to Overpay as well. Overpay is the second-most expensive Blue Jay, making $7.9 million in his walk year. Should be able to get his knocks in to pad his numbers, making him excellent trade bait. There's a young guy named Brett Wallace waiting in the wings, ready to knock the cover off the baseball.
Edwin Encarnacion 3B
E5. Had fireworks explode on his face in the offseason. No fireworks anywhere from this guy. Unless he wakes up from his mope.
Alex Gonzalez SS
Great glove. Because our starting pitching is sketchy and inexperienced, we decided to shore up our defense, to save those young arms. God knows we're going to need it. DEFENSE!
John Buck C
A good pick-up from Kansas City. Great game-caller. Calming force for our young pitching. Maybe he'll resurrect his career in TO.
Travis Snider LF
Cito's young project for this year. Can't hit lefthanded pitching, can't his slow stuff, can't get around his head. Once he figures it out, he's going to be good for a long time.
PREDICTIONS
Roy Halladay will singlehandedly pitch well to win his first World Series, thus ending World Hunger, and establishing World Peace. We all wish Doc well.
Brian Tallet will grow back his porn-'stache and mow down the opposition, and will lure unsuspectingly loose women in the back of his van.
Dustin McGowan will emerge fully healed from all of his ailments with the help of his mutton chops. "Mutton Chop Giveaway Day," will be a huge hit at the 'Dome.
John McDonald will still be the Prime Minister of Defence.
My favourite player will slowly shift from Roy Halladay to Mark 'Scrabble,' Rzepcynski.
Last prediction: We're going to play ball soon . . .
. . . and Winter can suck my dick!
Other Blue Jay links:
http://www.drunkjaysfans.com/
http://taoofstieb.blogspot.com/
http://mlbastian.mlblogs.com/
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