Saturday, March 13, 2010

Travel Tip #2: Look Sharp!

One thing I learned when travelling, is that people hardly make the effort anymore. It's a total shame, because I remember dressing up for my first ever plane ride. And this was the norm back then. People looked GOOD traveling.

Imagine that. Now, it seems, people can't be bothered. Nobody has that, 'Sunday best,' outfit anymore. No girls have those Kmart dresses specifically for Sundays. And hardly any little gentlemen strutting their stuff.

I'm aware that we all can't fit into that image of Don Draper. It's really tough. He's always dapper, I must admit. But we can all strive to get as close to it as possible. Believe me, we can all use a little of his swagger when dressing for travel. Here are some tips:

Don't dress like a Rear Admiral for the Old Navy
I'm sure the Chinese will love you for advertising, but it doesn't benefit you at all. All you're advertising is that, "I'm a cheap slob." And nothing says, 'unsophisticated traveller,' when that is all you wear.

Remember the golf outfit rule
One logo is fine, as long as it's somewhat on the hush-hush. Two or more BIG cocksucking brands on your body makes you an instant billboard, same a previous. Unless you have that big endorsement deal from Nike, tone that shit down. In the golf course, two or more logos, and you'd owe me a dollar. Practice that philosophy when you're dressing to go somewhere.

Wear a belt
Because YOU'RE LOOKIN' LIKE A FOOL WIT YO PANTS ON THE GROUND! Choose a nice leather one. You can use it to MacGyver up a timing belt, when one happens to snap off. It'll be enough to get you to a garage. Trust me.

Look somewhat approachable
Please, please, please, don't get on the road looking like you just came from Bonnaroo! As an experiment, try to look like you just stepped out of a garbage can, and then see if someone will help you fix a flat tire, find your luggage, give you directions. The majority of people are callous beings, appearances are everything, especially if you're stranded somewhere. As well, you might meet somebody that might end up being your boss, your BFF, your personal axe-murderer, or your future ex!

The point of this is, people, please make an effort. Your previous ones have been piss-poor!

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