Tuesday, August 10, 2010

This Week's Shitty Blue Jay: Dave Berg

Oh, the utility man. How underrated are they? Where the hell would we be if we never had a John McDonald, a Joe Inglett, or better yet a JoBau?!

Well, as of right now, if it weren't for the need for the utility man, we would not possess the Major League leader in home runs as part of our offence.

Of course, the other side of the coin says the utility man, is a waste of at-bats, usually anemic lumber, rarely striking fear into the opposing pitcher.

I'm with the latter on that opinion, although people love their JoBau and what he's done for us this year, I'm still not sold on his act. Once a useless pick-up for spare parts , always a pick-up for spare parts.

And that brings us to Dave Berg of the 2002-2004 edition. Much maligned, like his hockey equivalent Aki(no relation, I think), Dave was just an afterthought, considering his $650,000 average yearly salary. In baseball numbers, that money is quite a bargain, even though the player in discussion spends a lot of his time keeping the bench warm.

Fuck, pay ME that kind of money. I'll sit on the bench and give everybody handjobs, if they want. They're soft enough.

Berg in his 3 seasons with Toronto hit .263, with 11 HR. Not bad. But we all knew he was just a placeholder until somebody better came along.


Not too sure where Berg ended up after 2004, but in other news, former outfielder Raul Mondesi is the newly elected mayor of San Cristobal of the Dominican Republic. It pays to be a shitty Jay after all.

Let's all hope for the same fortunes for Mr. Dave Berg.

(Go to the right of this page and vote for YOUR Shitty Blue Jay. Mondy is leading right now, and if he wins it, we might pay the new Mayor a visit! And someone BUY ME A MOTHERFUCKING COFFEE!)

1 comment:

victorymanual said...

Way to mail that post in! Hurray, ME!