Fake It 'Til You Make It!

Ever wondered what happened to Steve Urkel from Family Matters? If you said, 'FUCK NO!,' well you are just full of shit. Bitch, please!

You can check him out in his new project Fake It 'Til You Make It, here:

www.jaleelwhite.com

Bet you didn't know his real name, huh? Quit lying.

Relative to this post, download this Death From Above track from their CBC session:

Death From Above 1979 - If We Don't Make It, We'll Fake It

Now that they've reunited, maybe I will have the opportunity to check them out in person . . .

Happy 100th Post!!!

Who would've thought that I would even make it to 100? Dear readers, if you stayed with me so far, you have sat through some Shitty Blue Jays, illegal downloads, bad journalism, and lots of cussing. Congratulate yourselves for sitting through that.





I promise that the next 100 posts will be more of the same!



I can't deviate from this crappy formula, after how far I've come . . .



. . . in your eye!

That's what we call, 'having your cake and eating it, too!'

The Fucking National!

I'm not one for trying on new music. You can ask anybody. I'm the worst for bands with the hype machine behind them, or just acts that a lot of people like, I'm not into it. I don't buy that shit. I can think for myself, thanks.


But there was something about slowly drifting off into sleep late last night, after my husbandly duties were fulfilled, and I'm just looking for something, some surface noise to leave on while closing my eyes into oblivion. I saw this band on Austin City Limits, that caught my ear(before that ear started eavesdropping on the pillow). They were The National.

I've heard of them before. Took a pass. But something about the ACL performance caught me. I grabbed a copy of High Violet, and I was floored!

I even had a copy of "Mr. November," somewhere lying around and I couldn't put 2 and 2 together. I'm fickle like that with music. Some act has to strike me somewhat profoundly for me to somehow even remember who they are.

The singer, Matt Berninger, is nothing special from a technical standpoint. A lukewarm baritone if that. But something about the way he emoted his delivery just drove his sorrow to the pit of my stomach. It helped that the group sounded so tensely versatile, that they could have broken my heart at will!

As I will somehow reach back into their back catalogue(thanks, internet!), I suggest that maybe you should pick up, High Violet.

This band will break your heart.

Check out "Bloodbuzz, Ohio," below! And someone click to the right and BUY ME A COFFEE!

My Thoughts On Dotel . . .

Jays GM Alex Anthopoulos has been dangling this piece of news for the past week, and the rumour mill was probably stirring this up two weeks before that. As expected, to shore up the relief corps after losing Kevin Gregg and Scott Downs to free agency, AA signed Octavio Dotel to a 1-year $3 Million deal with an option for '12.

Although Dotel has been a journeyman pitcher as of late, he sounds like a front runner for the closer's job, left vacant by Gregg. Years post-Tommy John, Dotel looks like he's slowly regaining his form when he saved a career high 36 games.

I remember sitting at the bleachers in 2005, against Oakland. Our team had nothing for bats. We were going into the 9th losing 2-1 (I don't even know how we scored the one run. We were pathetic that year!), I was hearing this pop coming from the Oakland bullpen. It was violent, loud and scary. It was Dotel warming up.

I guess I was optimistic back then. I always pegged Dotel as a 100-mph flame thrower, and I thought that the 2005 edition of the Jays ate flame throwers for breakfast. So here we are, going into the bottom of the ninth, last bats:

ME: "YOU SUCK, DOTEL!"
Dotel strikes the first batter out.
ME: "WE'RE GONNA LIGHT YOU UP, DOTEL! YOU SUCK!"
Dotel strikes the second batter out.
ME: "YOU'RE DONE FOR! HONE RUUN TINE! YOU SUCK!"
Dotel strikes the third batter out. Game over. Dotel shuts me up.

He closed that game like he was on autopilot. If you can recall how Gregg used to put us into fits last year, trying to find the strike zone, I'm sure you think Dotel would be a welcome pick-up.

It's quite the value as well. $3 Million buys you some competitive fire in the bullpen, with Jason Frasor and David Purcey competing for the closer position. Dotel's signing elevates everybody's stature. And if he does pan out as the guy you put on the mound in the 9th inning, you might be guaranteed 20 saves, which is not glaringly ugly from a value standpoint considering the dollars involved with closer money.

With all that said, welcome aboard, Dotel! I'll keep the 'YOU SUCK,' comments to myself for now.

OTHER NEWS:

- To buy some more relief insurance, Jays GM Alex Anthopoulos took a flyer on former NL Cy Young winner Chad Cordero. Cordero is one of the last links to the famed Montreal Expos. The Blue Jays are known to pick from the Expos scrap heap (see Tomo Ohka, Brad Wilkerson), so this isn't anything new. Expect Zach Day to be next year's bat boy.

If AA is feeling charitable, he should sign this guy:

He's multi-talented!


- Congratulations to Roberto Alomar for getting his due at the Baseball Hall Of Fame, who was elected yesterday.

For those attending his induction ceremony, please wear a raincoat. He's a bit of a spitter!

Say it, don't spray it, Roberto!

HEYO!

And Album Of Year For 2010 Goes To . . .

Crystal Motherfucking Castles' II! This release, unlike their first record, is progressively getting darker, angrier and with more purpose.

You can just tell that Ethan Kath, along with his junkie sidekick, Alice Glass, are exploring new forms of discord and noise to add to their sonic assault.

Let's just hope they don't put out a Gospel Rap album for their next release . . .

Totally moving, totally awesome. It's been on my playlist in one form or another for most of this year. Pick it up. Enjoy.

Disco Drunk Fun!

I had a fucking blast being at the December 18th edition of, 'I Say Disco, You Say Punk!' As always, they blast the kind of music that stir my soul.

The Rapture were guest DJ's before MC Uncle Buck came on. They started slow and lame, but picked up the pace to the point of mayhem. I was losing my mind to what they were playing! If anybody out there has an idea of what they were spinning, gmail me! It was THAT good.

It was a shame that I couldn't stay until the bitter end, like usual. Word of advice to everybody: Don't try to shut down, 'All you can eat sushi,' at August 8th, and then try to stir it up at Disco/Punk. Bad idea.

Found A Job!

Yes! It's true! I'm a working stiff!

Who would have thought that working on this piece of shit blog, and playing with pictures as CD covers for years, would land me a desk, a little window, and free access to a colour printer? I should be paying THEM!

The job is boring and tedious, but it does keeps me from the factory, which is nice. I finally get to an occupation where steel-toed workboots are not a requirement.

I'm finally on the other side, Ma! And I'm allowed to dress like Mad Men!